A Wacky Take On The Royal Wedding along with a Wacky daughter Video

The royal wedding.  Oh, for pukes sake, please would they have this damned wedding already!  If I see or hear about the happy, little Prince William and Princess-to-be Kate on TV, the web, or on the radio one more time, I swear I am going to retch my bowels right up through my nose!  I mean, what is the big deal?  I'm glad they are in love and all that goes along with all  all of that happy baloney but I just don't see what the hoopla is all about.  The whole idea of the Royalty in England is just weird.  If you're going to write a story about something, how about at least writing one about the cool prince in this royal family.  And "Prince Harry",  now that's name!  I think William sounds boring for a fairytale name.  Doesn't it?  I mean, could a prince named William, when faced with the evil stepmother threatening his new bride, ever really pull off a classic one liner..."Go ahead make my day?", like that other famous Harry once did?  Not with a name like William I say! But Prince Harry, hell yeah, he could pull that bad boy right off! 

And look at the way this cool kid wears his hair.  He just doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks!  And especially not the royal barber!  I know he gets a token News appearance every once in awhile but never anything substantial like the big bro.  This slick boy even got the-whole-of-the British press to stay mum about his stint in Afghanistan until some idiots found out about his tour there and let the "cat out of the bag".  I say there ain't nothing like a Prince with "balls".  Now I'm sure William can play a mean game of polo or cricket, but can he break down an M-16 with his eyes closed?  Doubt it.  (I know, I know, he's a military boy too and a trained pilot at that, but lets face it, he just does not have the "cool" gene).  
What I want to know is who Harry is going to marry?  Probably some bad-ass type of chick.  I'll bet she rides to the wedding ceremony on a Harley Davidson with a shotgun on her back!  
Ok,  maybe I'm getting a little out of line here.  I have only studied the royal family for about 3 minutes in preparation for this blog post.   I'm sure if I educated myself about William, I would find out he actually knows how to throw a mean tea party, is an awesome badminton player, and definitely knows how to fill his divots just so without stepping on the "steaming divots"!  But sometimes ignorance is bliss!  Especially when you want to poke fun at a Prince!  
Well, this really is going nowhere so I think I'll end this while I'm still somewhat ahead.  And end it before the Queen herself sends me an evil tweet, telling me to remove my blog post or she'll send the hounds after me!  Really William and Kate, I hope you two are very happy together and have lots of little princes and princesses!

Oh god, imagine the news media when that happens!  
Hmmmm, maybe we'll be lucky and the future king will be shooting blanks!  Fingers crossed!


Of course, if my wife has her way, all my daughters will be up early, viewing this "wedding extravaganza".  She's already prepping the my youngest for the soon-to-be famous 2011 wedding by having her watch the footage from the famous 1981 wedding.  

 

My Mia watching Princess Diane's wedding.  Too cute, but God help me!

I think the fish will be calling me bright and early on Saturday morning.




Profoundly,


Wacky Dad