Wacky Dad's Bucket List

Here are some of the things I have done and still want to do before I kick off.

1.  Ski tramline on Cannon Mountain.  The thing has never been open to ski while I've been at the mountain which has been a lot over the years.  I really have no interest in enjoying the run because it is full of boulders and crap and is on a 45 degree slant.  I just have to put the (x) in the box!

2.  Go SPIE rigging off the bottom of a helicopter!  Done this already!  Basically they hook you up on a rope face down and they fly around with you at 60 knots or so.  Feels like being superman!    

3.  Hike the Appalachian Trail.  I have been interested in this since I was a kid.  The problem is it takes a ton of time.  I hope I am still fit enough to handle this when I do have the time because kicking off without fitting this in will really piss me off!  A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail is a great book about Bill Bryson's experience on the trail.  This is a must read!

4.  Sail across the Atlantic alone on a 30' or smaller boat.  I have always dreamed of sailing the Atlantic.  I read the book Tinkerbelle as a young kid who was obsessed with racing sailboats and have read it at least 20 times since.  This is another one I will be sorely disappointed not to fit in!  At the time of it's writing, in the late 50's I believe it was, Robert Manry finished his crossing in the smallest boat ever - I think it was 13-14 feet!  Awesome!

5.  Ride my bicycle across the U.S.  I know this is another time consuming venture!  I never feel more free than I do out on the open road under my own power.  I think it would be an incredible way to see the country that I love so much!

6.  Meet Chuck Yeager - the first man to break the sound barrier!  He has always been one of my greatest idols and it would be such an honor to meet him.  Most likely it ain't gonna happen but it would be awesome.  His biography is a must read for anyone

7.  Ride the Tour De France route.  This is something that I have to do.  I have been watching the tour since I was a teenager and nobody even knew what the Tour was.  I have to do this!  I need to know how it feels to climb mountain pass after mountain pass and have to keep on going!

8.  Build a windmill.  I want a damned windmill so bad I could spit!  I am going to build one soon.  My house is in a pretty poor location for one but I don't really care.  The idea that I can make power with wind has fascinated me for a long time.  If I can run my landscape lighting off a windmill I will be a happy guy!  I know simple things for simple minds!

06 - The finest Huey the
 Corps ever had

9.  Be a United States Marine!  Done!  It was one of the biggest honors of my life to serve in the Corps and I use it's lesson's on a daily basis!  Once a Marine always a Marine!  Working as a "Huey" Crewchief was the best job a guy could every want.  A huey is the equivalent of a flying Harley Davidson.  Strap a damned big gun on it to play with and you have something!

10.  See the end of Pancreatic Cancer.  I have made it a mission in my life to help find a cure for this disease that took our friend Karen Petty from us and I will continue on my mission until it is done.  My yearly 200 Mile Karen Petty Ride Against Pancreatic Cancer will continue until it is gone!

11.  This is the most important thing on my list!  I need to be a successful dad.  My kids will be the only legacy that I leave behind in this world and when I'm up raising hell with St. Peter and all my fellow dead jarheads I hope my kids are back here telling "Dumb Eric Stories" and telling everyone what a cool and "Wacky" Dad they had!

P.S.  I am going to live to 120 years old so I have a lot of time to fit all of this stuff in!

Wacky Dad

Wacky Wisdom

Here are the answers to 2 questions I answered in a recent interview

1. What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The whole damned kit and kaboodle is a challenge! If you don't want to be a half-assed dad then it is going to be hard work. I work 11-12 hour days on a regular basis and put a lot of pressure on myself to continue to be the good father that I know I should and want to be. I was extremely lucky as a kid to have a very involved father. We spent every day together in the summers. My father owned a coffee service. We would do his deliveries for the business in the morning. I would ride with him in the old delivery van and all we did was talk. The radio was off limits in my father's vehicle and it still is today. Also, I remember playing old sea chanties on our harmonicas together as we drove down the road. I loved every second of being with my father.

After the coffee deliveries were done, we would often go fishing together or go sailing, or motorcycle riding. One of my biggest goals (and challenges) in life is to try to fill the shoes of my old man. I haven't done it yet but I am trying like hell to get there!

2. What advice would you give to other fathers?

Hmmmm. There are so many things I could say in response to this “loaded question”. I'll keep it short. One, be tough (aka - not being a pansy in my book). You are raising the future of our country and they are heading out into a very challenging world. I use my Marine Corps values every day with my kids in order to teach them discipline, hard work, teamwork, loyalty, and so on. If your not familiar with the Marines, I would recommend reading Corps Values by Zell Miller. This is a very short book and it outlines as well as describes, very poignantly the values of the USMC and how it can be helpful to use when looking to raise great kids. Two, spend time with them. 

Take them fishing, hunting, hiking, bike riding, skiing, sailing, swimming, or even read them a good book (one of your favorites is always fun to share) – whatever – just get out, be with them and spend time with them. I commonly spend one on one time with my girls by going on father/daughter dates. We usually do something outdoors and fun but sometimes we just go for ice cream and talk. You can make such strong bonds when you're out together. And it is a great to learn about each other and to understand better how each of you ticks. Hell, you could attend a rock fight together, and as long as you're together having fun, that is what I think it is all about! Three, let them learn and excel at one skill. Kids today are doing so many things all at once and they never really get a chance to be awesome at one thing. Being the best at something is so important for self esteem and knowing you are great on the inside is so much better than having someone else tell you how fantastic you are (It is nice to get both but feeling it on the inside is key to confidence)! Four, Read to them! Read them anything and everything – I am self taught on so many subjects and it is from reading! Read!!!! The last and maybe most important thing is to make sure they know how much you love them and how proud you are of them (say it, show it, - whatever). I always try to find a quiet minute, when my girls do something impressive, to tell them how proud I am of what they accomplished and how much I love them for who they are and how hard they tried. You're the King to them and when the King says he's proud, it really means a hell of a lot. And hell, it also makes the King happy too!

Love,

Wacky Dad

Politically Incorrect Parenting - Wacky Dad Style

Ok I can't stand it anymore!  I have been reading a lot of parenting articles since I started this dad blog and I am a little bored by all of the pansy type dad stuff I read.  Whatever happened to the dad being the tough guy in the family?  Here are a few of the techniques I use to keep my little squad in line.  I spent six years in the Marine Corps and not a day goes by that I don't use the lessons learned while enlisted in raising my kids.

1.  If one kid screws up they all pay the price together.  This teaches the kid accountability & teamwork.  For instance if Abby leaves a mess in the bathroom then Abby and Ailey both pay the price in punishment and vice versa.  Before long you have a little team that reminds each other to do the right things to avoid dealing with their drill instructor father!  Unconventional but works great!

2.  Let them know you're insane!  I remember one time I made a little bit of an eccentric breakfast because there was nothing in the house.  I sliced up some polenta and fried it in butter on a skillet and served it with maple syrup.  I thought it tasted great but Abby and Ailey were disgusted and wouldn't eat it at all.  That didn't go very well for the buggers.  By the end I had 2 screaming/fake dry heaving kids and 2 empty plates.  Sometimes you just have to show them you're off your rocker!  My girls never quite know what to expect from me and I like it that way!  Prepping myself for the boyfriend years!

3.  Keep it fun.  When they least expect it bring home some pigs feet in a jar, sardines, or something gross!  My kids are so eager to be little meat heads that they will try any of this stuff if I tempt them with a "Meat Head Level".  This is just an arbitrary level of craziness that I deem that they have earned.  In my house being a little nuts is a good thing!  I think my older 2 girls are at meat head level 11 or thereabouts.  Mia is still what we call a "meat ball" since she is too young to become a true meat head yet.  You have to truly understand the concept to join the contest and 3 is too young!  We have so much fun with this and it builds competitive spirit!

4.  Kids fighting?  Make them lay on their backs right next to each other on the floor and hold their heels up 6" over the floor with straight legs.  While they are down there they need to make a plan about how NOT to fight.  It is amazing how quickly they find a compromise when they are in this position!  If they fight again repeat with vigor!  This really works and has lasting effects!  I affectionately call this "the treatment".  It has many variations.  The punishment can be holding out a shoe straight out while standing at attention (try that for 5 minutes and let me know if you would pay attention when you're done), Leg lifts, etc.  Anything to make them feel a bit of discomfort from the exercise.  When my kids act up I ask if they need the treatment...complete reversal of attitude is very common!

5.  Teach them that it is cool to push themselves to their physical limits.  Some of my biggest accomplishments in life have been my ability to endure discomfort, pain, and fatigue.  I make sure my kids know it is cool to do any of these things.  We always push the limits when we hang together.  When we ski together we often "close the lift" meaning that we ski a full day from 9-4 and hop on one of the last chair lift rides of the day!  We have raced down many a day and just made the closing!  They think this is so cool and brag about it after the day is done.  If we take a hike I make sure we pick a distance that they can be proud of and I let them know they accomplished something pretty tough.  Make them tough - they're going to need it someday!

6.  Find their talent and help them succeed at it.  Every kid has one thing they are better at than the others.  In this world of trying 50 different things at once I think kids are missing out on the chance to really succeed and be great at one particular activity whether it be music, sport, academics, or anything.  Make sure they are great at one of these things.  When you excel at one discipline you have a deep seated feeling that you can conquer other things and the truth is you can!

All right enough crap from me.  I'm not a perfect dad and nothing is foolproof but these are a few of the things that work in my family.  Even though I am tough my girls come running to the door every night to greet me.  They love me and I love them and part of that love stems from the fact that I respect my girls for what they do and they respect me for what I do.  For me that is enough.

Wacky Dad

Dumb Eric Story #2

Today is a great day!  I actually got my first new fan in about 5 weeks!  They must have hit the follow button by mistake or something!  In honor of that new follower I am going to repeat myself and let them know what a "Dumb Eric Story" is so that they know exactly the kind of dolt they chose to follow.  Any of my current followers that don't like it just need to suck it up for a minute.  Don't whine...  

Something that has become a tradition in my household is a phenomenon called the "DUMB ERIC STORY".  The phrase sort of speaks for itself but a "Dumb Eric Story" is simply something that I have done that is above average on the moron scale!  This is a favorite dinner time event that my daughters really love.  Of course I do have quite a bit of material to work with being the meat head that I am.  My girls will often yelp "Dad we want to hear a Dumb Eric Story - PLEASE!" They love it.  Good laughs!

Dumb Dad Himself!

It has gotten to the point where the kids that they go to school with and ride the bus with all know Dumb Eric stories too!  Kids I don't even know will come over to hang out & play (I hate the "play date" phrase so I will never use it on this blog!  Those who do will be chastised - beware moms!) and mention one of these stories that my little knucklehead kids have shared with them.  Nice to be so famous!  So every now and then I am going to bless the lucky 13 blog readers that I have amassed with a "Dumb Eric Story" to make my daughters publicizing of my idiocy a bit easier!  Some of these stories are from when I was a kid and some as an adult.  Some might argue that I have not found the divide between those 2 stages!  Ok enough bull here is the 2nd Dumb Eric Story.  Hmmmm which one to pick...Ok here goes.

    Ok so one day as a kid I was down in my favorite haven - Dad's workshop.  As some of you might know this was a glorious place with all kinds of cool solvents, tools, old motors, etc.  It was simply enchanting.  Most of the time there was about a 1 foot path through the place because my father had the van engine or transmission torn apart all over the place.

    On this particular day I was playing with a hair dryer that I pulled out of somebody's trash.  I am an eternal tinkerer and peoples trash was my heaven as a kid.  I still have never actually bought a push lawnmower - they are all peoples leftovers or trash.  I even have a lawnmower engine sitting on my workbench right now!  Somehow I got that piece of junk dryer up and running and I figured out that it could serve a great purpose to me in it's second lease on life.  

    I was probably about 11 years old or so at this point and it was around Christmas or my birthday.  I got a clay "Garfield the Cat" kit complete with molds, clay, and paint.  After fooling around with the hair dryer for a while I remembered I had this clay Garfield thing and also remembered you were supposed to bake the clay when you were done (with mom or dads help).  I looked at my newly fixed hair dryer and the lightbulb went on!  I can bake my Garfield with this thing!  I ran upstairs and got the clay thing and ripped it open hurriedly.  I pulled out the clay and threw it into the Garfield mold and molded myself a half assed cat.  It wasn't about the cat at this point - it was all about baking the thing with my hair dryer.

    I went into the workshop and propped Garfield up near the vise.  I clamped the hair dryer in the vise - flipped it on and let the baking begin.  I watched for a couple of minutes and saw some results - Garfield was starting to dry out but this was going to take some time.  Never very patient - I had the thing all set up so I shut the door to block out the whine from the re-manufactured hair dryer and decided to watch a television show in the next room (it actually happened to be the Brady Bunch - nope not lying).  I sat there and got engrossed in the show - Marcia was cute with those dimples and all.  I pretty much forgot about my little project in the next room. I think it might have been a commercial break or something but I lost attention in the TV long enough to listen for my hair dryer.  The whining sound was gone....It was replaced by some sort of crackling.  Hmmm - off the couch and into the room and what do I find?  

Flames as tall as me raging right where my hair dryer used to be.  Oh shit!  Yes I knew that word and many more at the time (one of the benefits of having a former Marine as a father).  I knew that I was in a little over my head so I yelled to my Father who was somewhere else in the house "Dad!  I have a fire here!"  I wasn't the kind of kid to cry wolf - plus if I could have managed the fire I would have tried (I had a lot of experience with fire!). 

   Dad came bounding downstairs and threw open the door which I had closed again.  The flames were now raging even higher and were burning right next to an open shelving unit with the highly explosive solvents that I so loved in it - See Dumb Eric Story #1.  My father had the presence of mind to remember a huge fire extinguisher that a Navy friend had given him that was in the workshop.  It had the letters PKP on the side.  He ran in there - dodged the flames and grabbed that baby and let loose with it right on the fire!  I never saw anything like it!  Dad really layed into that thing - he emptied the whole thing on my fire and rightly so.  Instantly the flames were gone but so was everything else.  You couldn't see your hand in front of your face.  There was a super fine talcum like powder totally filling the air.  We both stumbled out of the basement because we couldn't breath with all of that crap in the air.  The powder was everywhere!  All through the house the cloud spread.  Man oh man did I get in trouble - Mom was actually quite pissed too!  It was totally innocent but I was constantly doing this kind of thing and actually still have my days!  I swear if you go look into some of the untouched corners of that basement you will still find Purple Potassium Powder till this day!  It turns out that the wire to the hair dryer was crossing another extension cord and it got so hot that it melted through - arced and lit the sawdust on the floor on fire! 

   So the moral of the story is unless you have a big ass PKP fire extinguisher in the basement, don't let you're kid dry his or her new clay Garfield kit with a recycled trash hair dryer! 

Love,

Wacky Dad

10 REASONS WACKY DAD DOESN'T WATCH FOOTBALL

1.  I'm already fat enough and I am a pretty active guy.  Put me on the couch for a few hours a week and I would have to cut way back on my eating regimen just to keep the pot belly I already have from becoming a full blown gut!

2.  Football is boring as snot.  I hate the fact that 3 minutes of the game takes 30 minutes to watch.

3.  I hate to be like everyone else.  Everyone else likes football. I don't watch football.

4.  Super Bowl Sunday is the best ski day of the year!  There is nobody out there - especially when The Patriots are in the Super Bowl - Which I am told is not going to be the case this year - I do feel for all of my fat & skinny Patriots watching friends though.  Sorry all you Patriot boys & girls out there - they lost and you wasted your time watching all year long!  Come hang with me next year!  I'll be at Cannon Mountain bumping!

5.  I still fail to see the allure in watching big fat guys slamming themselves into each other repeatedly like knuckleheads.  The fact that they get brain damage from this repeated abuse is a little disheartening but then again most of them aren't playing with a full deck to start with.

6.  I can't sit still long enough to watch a whole football game.  I remember the time I went to see a game.  I must have eaten about 7 hot dogs and drank 5 beers before the game was over.  I spent more time in the concession line than in the seat.  Anything to get out of actually sitting there!  Actually that could have been baseball - can't stand that either!

7.  My daughters and wife dig the fact that their dad/husband doesn't sit around watching multiple games.  We are usually doing something fun while everyone else is hibernating in front of the TV.  I'd rather be skiing bumps on Rocket than watching big, fat, sweaty, linemen groping each other...

8.  A ball is supposed to be round.  Footballs aren't even round.  They look stupid.  Merriam Webster defines a ball as: a round or roundish body or mass.  See my point?  A football isn't even a damned ball!



9.  It is very freeing to know that I don't have to talk about all of that football bullshit with all of the guys.  They all know I can't stand it.  I don't like to talk about bullshit stuff.

10.  Of course one more reason not to watch football is the fact that I need to write this blog for my 3 followers and it gives me another thing to write about!  Plus sitting in this computer chair is way more healthy than sitting on the couch.  At least I only drink beer while doing this.  I leave out the cheesy nachos and hot wings!

** To all of my football watching friends out there - feel free to defend yourself by commenting!  

With Love,


Wacky Dad