Wacky Tips and Weird Ideas

Wacky Tip #10 - Getting rid of blood on your collar!

Ever wonder what else you can do with Hydogen Peroxide other than washing out boo boos?  Here is a scenario for you.  Your clumsy butt cuts your neck while shaving.  You have 20 minutes to get to a wake and you get blood all over the collar of your only clean shirt that happens to be white.  Oh crap right!  Wrong - get out the 3% hydrogen peroxide and soak the blood spot.  It will foam up like it does when you pour it on a cut, and VOILA!! - BLOOD STAIN GONE.  Rinse in water and dry with a hot iron - just like new baby!  Remember you heard it here first in Wacky Dad's "Wacky Tips and Ideas"!  Happy shaving.

Weird Idea #5  Ok, how about opening a gym where people can ride bikes, elliptical machines, treadmills, etc that create power.  Everyone would be issued a card that they could plug into their machine of choice and the machine would measure the amount of watts created in each workout.  

 HOW MANY KILOWATTS CAN THIS MEAT HEAD PRODUCE?

For every kilowatt created people could get a credit back toward their monthly membership dues.  I know that this might have some logistical problems but I love the idea.  What better way to entice people to work out than the potential to lower their monthly gym bill and to do something good for the environment at the same time. 

Wacky or Wicked - Let me know your thoughts by commenting!

Wacky Tip #9 - How to spray away Gunk!

So I have actually never used any kind of oven cleaner for cleaning an oven.  I have lucked out with having self-cleaning ovens all these years.  I have heard though that you can use those kinds of cleaners for other uses (and I do love a good solvent or de-greaser type spray).

For the Ladies (or guys who like to curl their hair):

You can clean a curling iron that is all caked with stuff like gel, hairspray, and all those other fancy kinds of products by spraying on oven cleaner. Spray it on the curler and then let it sit for a few minutes.  Then wipe the cleaner off with an old rag and it should get all the gunk off.  Then wipe it down with a little soap and water so that the oven cleaner does not end up in your hair the next time you attempt to curl.

For the driveway owners out there like me who like their cement to look clean:

Oven cleaner sprayed on oil or grease stains and then left to sit for a few minutes should help to loosen and raise the stain off the surface. Spray a couple doses of the stuff on the stains and then you just have to spray the hell out of the stain with your hose at full blast and it should fade.

Wacky Tip #8  - How to freshen up those nasty, stinky shoes of yours or those funky smelling gym bags - Dryer sheets

Okay, so if you have nasty smelling work boots like me, you can solve this problem cheaply and easily.  If you leave dryer sheets in your work boots, shoes, gym bag...overnight, the nasty smells get absorbed into the sheet and your feet smell like roses again (well that is if they ever did). 

So, if you can't get to a washing machine or the items can't be washed anyway.. freshin' up those stanky stink-fests by filling them with dryer sheets overnight. The oder is absorbed and your wife and kids will let you take your shoes off in the family room again.

A Green side note-  You can reuse dryer sheets.  Wash them out and then once dry, reuse them for dusting.  They work great...or at least that's what the wife says!

Weird Idea #4  Ok, this idea has been with me for about 3 years since I moved into my house since I have a ton of trees.  Why can't I make logs out of my leaves and burn them in a wood stove?  If you can compress them enough and glue them together somehow they should be a good fuel.  And the acorns!  I have dreamed of having an acorn burning stove too!  Sounds like fun to me!!  Any ideas on if it will work?

Wacky Tip #7 - Never piss into the wind!
This needs no explanation does it?  It is just a bad idea while standing toward the wind.  You are bound to piss all over your leg and that is bad...Turn around to pee - no matter the consequence!




Wacky Tip #6 - How to get that pesky squirrel off your bird feeder.

I love my bird feeder.  I've been fascinated by watching these little guys come and eat since I was a kid.  I don't really study them a whole lot or anything - I just love watching the hungry ones gorging themselves on what they consider a delicacy.  For about 3 years now (since moving to my new house) I have been plagued by squirrels raiding my bird feeder for sunflower seeds.  Sunflower seeds are basically like crack to a squirrel.  They will run every risk to get these damned seeds.  I have tried everything to keep them away.  I even followed a tip I found online that said mixing cayenne pepper into your seed would keep them away and the birds wouldn't be bothered by the hot stuff.  Sure enough they were right about the birds not minding the pepper.

The squirrels however started wearing sombreros and went Mexican on me! I believe the little bastards actually liked it better!  One day I was online searching for another cure to my squirrel issue when I ran across a type of seed called Safflower Seed.
They claimed that the squirrels didn't care for this seed but that birds still like it.  Hmmmm I had to know if it was true.  I went out and searched the stuff down and out it in my bird feeder and waited with bated breath.  The squirrels all came out of the woodwork as usual when the devils saw my full feeders.  One by one they tried the stuff and sure enough they all pretty much turned their nose up to it.  This isn't to say that they don't come back and try it once in a while but the days of them coming up on the feeder and emptying out are over.  I love this stuff and so do the birds.  I continued to get cardinals, titmice, nuthatches, chickadees, and many other varieties of birds.  While this seed is definitely more pricey than sunflower seeds you actually get a lot of bang for your buck because it doesn't all end up as squirrel excrement!  This stuff is definitely a must have for all birding enthusiasts and squirrel haters!



Weird Idea #3  Ok, I really want to build a windmill!  I see all of that free power blowing by the house and it kills me!  I know this isn't really a weird idea but when my neighbors see me throw this baby up on top of my roof they will think I am weird!  Did you know you can make an awesome model windmill out of a ten speed bicycle wheel!  visit http://goo.gl/4scBh to check it out!


Wacky Tip #5 - How to calm your brain to fall asleep Mr. Poisson Style!
This used to work great before I started to turn into a vampire so I can write my blog!  I learned this meditation trick in Mr. Poisson's religion class at Hendricken.  Close your eyes and lay down.  Clear your mind and concentrate on black.  Begin counting your breaths in and out - only concentrate on the counting.  When I get to 100 I start over again.  This is a great relaxation exercise and also helps me get to sleep when I have 30 blog posts rattling around in my brain!!  I have even had an experience where i began to feel a spinning sensation which Mr. Poisson pointed out was a journey into the unconscious!  Usually it takes me about a bottle and a 1/2 of red wine to get there!  Enjoy!  


Wacky Tip #4 - How to drive a screw into wood with ease!

Get out your bar of Ivory soap and rub the screw threads in the soap before you start the screw into the wood.  Most old carpenters will always have a piece of Ivory in their toolbox.  I learned this one from my old man who most likely learned it from his Uncle Pete!  


Wacky Tip #3 - Removing an anti theft device from a bra!

Wacky Tip #2 - Nail splitting your wood every time?  Give it a love tap!


Before you start your nail turn it upside down and give the pointy end a light tap with your hammer - blunting the end a little.  Works every time!  I learned this from my father who I believe learned it from his old Uncle Pete!  This little beauty will help for all of you nail driving needs! $20 off Craftsman Nextec 12V Lithium-Ion Cordless Hammerhead Auto Hammer $79.99 on sale 12/12-12/18

Wacky Tip #1 - How To Curb Sibling Fighting Marine Style aka THE TREATMENT

Kids fighting?  Make them lay on their backs right next to each other on the floor and hold their heels up 6" over the floor with straight legs.  While they are down there they need to make a plan about how NOT to fight.  It is amazing how quickly they find a compromise when they are in this position!  If they fight again repeat with vigor!  This really works and has lasting effects!

Weird Idea # 2  Ok, Why don't we line our highways with windmills? They could even hang over the top of the highway on pivoting arms so they could be easily maintained at the side of the road without causing traffic jams.  Have you ever felt how windy it is on the side of a highway due to all of the traffic?  Wacky Or Wicked?  Let me know!  

Weird Idea # 1   Ok, Have you ever wondered if there is a way to create power with trees?  There is a ton of potential energy in the swaying of trees.  Any ideas how we can harness it?  These are the things that keep me up at night - hence the "wacky" before the dad.  Lets discuss this!