The media seems to be cashing in on Hurricane Irene, so I figured I would take a stab at it too. These are some items that I do not want to be without during the hurricane.
1. Papa Mario's favorite boxed wine. One of the beauties of this wine is there is a whole lot of it in a box, so even if the package store is closed for 3-4 days you should be ok, even though you may have to ration a bit!
2. Baked Beans - there is no way you can survive with out many cans of Bush's Baked Beans. These babies taste great, can be eaten cold or heated, and make for great sound and scent effects in the darkness of your non-electrified house. For you men out there, don't expect to get these if you put them on the wifes survival list. Get off your ass and pick them up yourself, you'll be glad you did!
3. Kites - What the hell you might as well fly a kite with this kind of wind! I wouldn't recommend anything too fancy as you will surely destroy the thing, but tell me it won't be fun flying the kite during the hurricane! Please don't kill yourself with this stunt!
4. Gasoline - You might as well go through the motions of getting gas for the piece of crap generator you have that hasn't run in 3 decades. Trying to get the heap running during the blackout will keep you occupied and make you feel like a man. By the time you get the thing running you'll have power again. At least the generator will be ready for the next hurricane 30 years down the road! The same applies to the chain saw.
5. Propane for the gas grill - No brainer here - how the hell can you have a hurricane party without a grill to cook on. Do not forget this or all of you electric stove people will be jonesing for a hot dog!
6. Nothing goes with beans like this canned brown bread by B&M. I totally love this stuff and only buy it when camping or getting ready to rough it for a while. If you have never tried this stuff you have to give it a whirl. Slice it up, butter it, and pan fry it on your grills side burner, you'll love it!
7. Ice - can't hurt to have a big ass cooler full of ice. When your dumb ass blows up the generator you'll need to keep you essentials cold somehow.
This also helps to keep the beer cold at the hurricane party.
8. Beer - Yes even though I am not drinking beer at the moment I think this is occassion enough to buy a case and celebrate the wind! Also you can't have a party without beer! When I was a kid my buddy father used to suck these generic beers down by the case. Wonder if you can still get them??
9. Earplugs - you're gonna be stuck in the house for an extended period of time with a bunch of stir crazy kids. Two of these little yellow beauties ought to make things a bit more enjoyable.
10. Cards - Make sure you have a deck of cards. I am not a big card player, but somehow these occasions just simply call for a card game of some sort, even if it is Go Fish with your kiddies!
You're Ready!
Happy Hurricane,
Wacky Dad
All I want to say today is that I am the only guy that can ride his bicycle 135 miles in a weekend and gain 5 pounds in the process. I am training my butt off for my annual one day 200 mile bike ride to wipe out pancreatic cancer, and it seems like the more I ride the fatter I get! I am even dieting (ok maybe I fell off the wagon today) and have been extremely careful about what I have eaten. When your'e logging a couple of hundred miles on the week I guess you expect a miracle to happen, but this damned spare tire around my belly just won't leave me! Granted I have lost 21 pounds since May but I need more! I would like to everyone to say a prayer for me to lose about 10 more pounds before September 17th, because I really don't want to ride all the way from Rhode Island to New Hampshire with an equivalent of two 5lb sugar bags on my back! I don't even have the option to starve myself because then I don't have any energy to train! Perhaps Ex-Lax is the answer! Hmmmm, food for thought!
If you would like to support a fat man suffering to cure pancreatic cancer please visit the donation website below. All proceeds will go to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network this year!
