Wacky Wisdom

Here are the answers to 2 questions I answered in a recent interview

1. What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The whole damned kit and kaboodle is a challenge! If you don't want to be a half-assed dad then it is going to be hard work. I work 11-12 hour days on a regular basis and put a lot of pressure on myself to continue to be the good father that I know I should and want to be. I was extremely lucky as a kid to have a very involved father. We spent every day together in the summers. My father owned a coffee service. We would do his deliveries for the business in the morning. I would ride with him in the old delivery van and all we did was talk. The radio was off limits in my father's vehicle and it still is today. Also, I remember playing old sea chanties on our harmonicas together as we drove down the road. I loved every second of being with my father.

After the coffee deliveries were done, we would often go fishing together or go sailing, or motorcycle riding. One of my biggest goals (and challenges) in life is to try to fill the shoes of my old man. I haven't done it yet but I am trying like hell to get there!

2. What advice would you give to other fathers?

Hmmmm. There are so many things I could say in response to this “loaded question”. I'll keep it short. One, be tough (aka - not being a pansy in my book). You are raising the future of our country and they are heading out into a very challenging world. I use my Marine Corps values every day with my kids in order to teach them discipline, hard work, teamwork, loyalty, and so on. If your not familiar with the Marines, I would recommend reading Corps Values by Zell Miller. This is a very short book and it outlines as well as describes, very poignantly the values of the USMC and how it can be helpful to use when looking to raise great kids. Two, spend time with them. 

Take them fishing, hunting, hiking, bike riding, skiing, sailing, swimming, or even read them a good book (one of your favorites is always fun to share) – whatever – just get out, be with them and spend time with them. I commonly spend one on one time with my girls by going on father/daughter dates. We usually do something outdoors and fun but sometimes we just go for ice cream and talk. You can make such strong bonds when you're out together. And it is a great to learn about each other and to understand better how each of you ticks. Hell, you could attend a rock fight together, and as long as you're together having fun, that is what I think it is all about! Three, let them learn and excel at one skill. Kids today are doing so many things all at once and they never really get a chance to be awesome at one thing. Being the best at something is so important for self esteem and knowing you are great on the inside is so much better than having someone else tell you how fantastic you are (It is nice to get both but feeling it on the inside is key to confidence)! Four, Read to them! Read them anything and everything – I am self taught on so many subjects and it is from reading! Read!!!! The last and maybe most important thing is to make sure they know how much you love them and how proud you are of them (say it, show it, - whatever). I always try to find a quiet minute, when my girls do something impressive, to tell them how proud I am of what they accomplished and how much I love them for who they are and how hard they tried. You're the King to them and when the King says he's proud, it really means a hell of a lot. And hell, it also makes the King happy too!

Love,

Wacky Dad