Five Wacky Father's Day Projects!

I always have a few wacky projects rolling around in my head.  On most days these projects are way to meaningless to attack, but on Fathers Day, we get a day of leisure to do whatever stupid thing it is that we would like to do.  Here are five moronic projects that I would love to tackle tomorrow.  I know that I won't get to all of them, or even one of them, but I sure would revel in the moment of completing one of these projects.


1.   Install a point driven well in my yard - The Costantino's are invariably cheap.  It has always been my dream to install a small point driven well that could take care of watering the grass, sprinkling the kids on hot days, provide snowmaking water, and maybe even providing water to the toilets.  I am sure that this endeavour would probably end up costing me more than water bills but it is just so damned cool!  Here is a diagram of a point driven well.  I want one.  I might actually be putting one of these bad boys in tomorrow.  Already have the pump!

I know this seems like great fun huh!

 2.  I have an obsession with utilizing the stream in my front yard for something.  This small stream probably has no real practical use, but in my twisted mind it is a treasure trove of electric power, and of air conditioning for my house.  My wife will not let me use the water fall to create power because she says the contraption I have devised to do so is ugly.  What the heck does she know!  An old bike chain, some gears, and an old squirrel cage are all beautiful in my mind!  I also have a plan to use the cold water (57 degrees) to cool my house by means of an old car radiator.  Definitely a nice addition to the living room.  

Great minds think alike.  Dad admiring my beautiful invention.
I really am an idiot!

3.  Create a windmill.  My latest idea is that the windmill and the stream power would work in tandem to drive a small air compressor head.  This compressed air would be stored in my large compressor until it gets to about 140 psi and the would automatically vent to an impact wrench that would spin a small permanent magnet motor that would be capable of producing enough electricity to store in a bank of 12 volt deep cycle batteries.  By means of an inverter I would probably be able to power a 2 watt light bulb for 5 seconds and of course this would elicit tears of joy and pride from me after spending 24 hours labor and $500 bucks to make the damned idea work.  Oh yeah and the windmill would be powered by an old ten speed bicycle wheel with large heat shrink tubing that covers the spokes at an angle.  You know the great thing about a blog is that I can write all of my stupid crap down and pretend that people actually care about what I'm writing.  There must be some other moron out there who has ideas like these right?  His name is Leo Costantino!




4.  I have had an idea for a long time about utilizing the swaying action of trees to collect power.  This idea really comes from the fact that I have a backyard full of trees that would require me to build a 100' windmill to get over the treetops to gather any real wind.  I do have a plan about how to build this, but it is so damned stupid I am not sharing it.  Also somebody from Exxon-Mobil might steal my idea and I don't want those shitheads getting rich off me!  I really don't want to add to their record profits!


5.   I would love to get the damn shit tank fully operational on my boat.  I have a very carefully devised jury rig all purchased and ready to install, but my busy schedule hasn't allowed me to put it together yet.  I am going to beat the marine industry at their own game and have a fully operational holding tank built out of parts from my existing tank and of course Lowes.  I will let you all know the first time I successfully pump the shitter on my boat!


Well there are five dumb projects.  In reality I will probably end up hanging out with my wife, my kids, my mother, father, and grandfather.  We'll probably drink some cheap box wine, tell stories that we've heard a hundred times, and have a good old fashioned barbecue.  You know I can't think of anything I'd rather do!  Not even repiping the shitter!


Happy Father's Day!


Wacky Dad