Wacky Dad Fashion Sense!

High Fashion From Wacky Dad

Ok all I am an eternal smart ass and if I am going to stay true to myself and my 5 readers I think it is high time I have a little old fashioned fun at the expense of some of the fashionista's out there.  No offense to you all but I can't stand all that drivel about clothes and crap.  OK here goes Wacky Dad fashion.

I am going to start at the underwear because that is what you put on first.  At least you probably should.

The tighty whitey.  This tried and true underpant just can't be beat.  They are durable, they hold in the boys and partner as snug as a bug in a rug, and they are cheap.  Also they last forever and piss your kids and wife off when you where them outside to let the dog out.  Especially when they're ten years old and they don't retain your boys as well as they did when they were brandy new!

  

The White Hanes Crew Sock.  These are a bit expensive for my taste but are well worth the money since they last a long time.  These are also great at retaining rotten feet smell way better than most socks out there.  The key is that they are all cotton.  They look great with sneaker, boots, loafers, sandals, flip flops, water shoes at the beach while beach combing with your metal detector - whatever!

Long Johns.  It's winter and I have to get the word out about these long johns.  They are made of Aramid which is a fireproof substance just in case you spontaneously combust while your out skiing.  I have been wearing these bad boys for about 15 years now since I got out of the Marine Corps and they are still going strong.  They are soft, comfortable and warm.  They also have these little straps that go under your foot inside your shoe so you ankles are covered.  These are a must have!  Plus they are ugly and tend to weather into a dirt white color which seems to bother the wife.  This my friends is what they call a bonus!

Jeans - Go to your local Ocean State job lot and get the darkest blue jeans they have.  Take those babies and spread them out on the deck right before winter and let the weathering begin.  I did this once by mistake and forgot about them.  I ended up with a cool looking pair of jeans with some funky weathering that were soft and supple from the freeze thaw cycling of the Rhode Island winter.  Make sure you wash them first for all of you dumb ones out there!  I usually rediscover these around the time I am boiling maple sap to make syrup!

The Shirt or Sweater. Go ugly! If you want to look like a true man and make your fashion minded wife nuts you have to go ugly on this one.  this shirt I am in is a personal favorite that the wife hates. The thing is  comfortable and warm and great to throw on while making snow or collecting sap in the spring.  If you need to check the oil in the van just wipe the dipstick on the sleeve.  Also you can throw this on while letting the dog out in your tighty whiteys.  Damn I am good looking!  That is me showing off some of my finished maple syrup!  I know it is a jelly jar - I recycle.

The Coat I like either Carhart or Justin.  They make strong, durable, warm products that look cool as they fade and get weathered.  They also complement the ugly shirt quite well.  This just finishes off the whole picture.  These items can be pricey but they will last for years unless you get bleach on your right sleeve while sanitizing a water line (check out my right sleeve next time you see me).  I still wear mine in hope that the dirt will someday cover the bleach stains up.

These Wolverine boots happen to be my boot of choice.  If you are out on job sites, digging holes, fishing, hunting, etc this boot is for you.  They are light weight, warm, have a great sole, and are comfortable out of the box.  I haven't owned anything but Wolverines for many years.  One thing though, if you step in dog crap you better be patient because digging it out of the aggressive tread on this boot is like pissing into the wind!

I actually made it on the front of the Providence Journal in this
very outfit!  What a jackass!

Ok all of you metrosexuals and fashion moms!  Top that.  I am going to be on the cover of In-Style or Vogue next week.  The new trend will be Wacky Dad wear for all!  Get ready for aramid and flannel ladies.  Vavavoooom!

Love,

Wacky Dad