TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS - WACKY DAD VERSION!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a Meathead was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Santa soon would be there.

The rug rats were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Home Made Snow danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long bloggers’s nap.

When out near the snow maker there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and fell on my ass.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a tangled up sleigh, and eight angry reindeer.

With a livid old driver, all covered in snow,
I knew in a moment it was St. Nick - Oh no!
More pissed off than snakes, his coursers they came,
The Elf Meathead whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on Donner and Blitzen!
Untangle yourself from that snow maker hose! Please hurry and get your ass out of that snow!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away now!"

They shook off the snow, the compressed air, and water,
and finally took off which was still quite a bother.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and the Fat Meathead too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The stamping and pawing of sixteen angry hooves.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the mad Meathead came with a bound.

He was dressed in wet fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with ice and with soot.
The bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
Were snow covered and smashed, a really sad sack.

His eyes-how they squinted! his dimples no fun!
His cheeks were like roses, from the spraying snow gun!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a scowl,
And he looked over at me and said go get me a towel.

The stump of a pipe was all smashed in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a great big beer belly,
That shook when he toweled off, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, one pissed off old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A twinkle in his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
he poured a bucket of poo on the floor like a jerk .
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He shuffled to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, deer poop raining down like a missile!
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, never make snow on this night!"


I gave him the bird as he flew to the right
and hollered I AM WACKY DAD, AND WILL MAKE SNOW JUST TO SPITE!!!!  




MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ALL  IN THE WACKY DAD HOUSEHOLD!
rhode island snow

My Magnificent Mia!

How many 3 year old kids would grab onto
that lunker?

It ain't often that I get on my blog and straight up brag about my kids, but tonight is that night.  My third daughter Mia is my inspiration.  This little kid just isn't quite like any other kid I have fathered or met.  She is just pure happiness and fun.  Maybe it is the whole third time is a charm thing, but the kid just lights up a room when she walks in.  She is smart as a whip, and has a great sense of humor, and is outgoing.  She is really the type of person that can make a great big difference in a world like ours.  Another thing that inspires me about this little 3 year old whirlwind is just how tough she can be.  The other day I was out in the yard splitting wood, and Mia was playing on the swing set, occasionally coming over to cheer me on when a knotty old piece of oak might be vexing me.  Any way, I was keeping a loose eye on her as she was swinging and I noticed her fall right over backwards and land straight onto her head.  She was still moving, and I didn't hear the trademark scream that comes with a hurt kid, so I didn't rush in to check on her, I just watched.  The little bugger got up, shook herself off, and jumped right back on.  I know it had to hurt, but she just pressed on instead of making a scene.  I take no credit for the way this kid turned out.  I am of the mind that we have about 20% control over our kids personality.  The rest is simply innate.  I must say that my little Mia is innately one of the greatest joys of my life.

My kids are all so special to me, and the each hold a special place in my heart.  Abby is my first, sort of like a soulmate.  We still read together every night, and we hold a devotion to each other that I believe is uncommon.  Each of us will do things for each other that nobody else would bear.  She even laid under my truck with me the other day and helped me change a brake line from start to finish - boy did that bring back memories of my childhood.  Ailey is my little partner in crime.  The kid looks like me, acts like me, laughs like me.  We are carbon copies, which sometimes makes for some feisty arguments and head butting, but we truly love each other for our commonality.  My Mia is simply the smile on my face, the joy in my heart, and my elixir to the daily grind.  Thank God for them all, but tonight I thank God for my third, the Magnificent Mia!

Much Love,

Your Wacky Dad

Another Friend Lost To Pancreatic Cancer

Peter with his trademark smile

This week has started off roughly.  I got a call on Sunday night from my friend Peter's wife Sue.  The pancreatic cancer that he had fought so valiantly took him from this world so quickly that I couldn't believe it was real.  In fact I listened to the voice mail twice before I actually accepted that it was a fact.  Peter's fight lasted about 2 years - a milestone for anyone fighting this disease.  I have only known Peter for a little over a year.  We met at a meeting for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.  I became involved in this organization after a life long friend of mine, Karen Petty, passed away due to this disease after a valiant 2-1/2 year fight.  Peter and I instantly hit it off.  I had just completed a one day 200 mile solo bicycle ride to raise money for pancreatic cancer in Karen's memory.  Peter, being a cyclist for much of his life, instantly found a common thread with me.  He thought the bike ride was just great.  We went on to work together, along with other volunteers, in planning a large walk called Purple Stride Rhode Island in May 2011.  Peter's incredible energy and positive attitude, in the face of fighting one of the most deadly cancers, was totally awe inspiring to me.  I am a guy who is impressed by grit and toughness, but Peter did it without the tough guy act.  He just went on with his daily life while fighting his cancer as a matter of course.  I know he suffered, but he did not show it outwardly to us.  Pure guts.  I instantly fell in love with the guy.

Leading up to and after the Purple Stride Walk, Peter showed an intense interest in helping me make the Karen Petty Double Century Bike Ride Against Pancreatic Cancer an even bigger success than it was the year before.  We spoke at least once a week, and planned our fundraising efforts together.  Peter even enlisted his nephew Tyler to ride along with myself and my good friend Greg.  Together we raised about $18,000 for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.  The most impressive part of the whole day was the fact that Peter was there at 3:00 am in the morning when we started from Karen's House in West Warwick, RI.  He was so pumped up!  I swear the guy had a smile on his face all day.  As we rode up he fixed bicycles, kept us from getting lost, waved signs and cheered like a maniac, and just was totally incredible.  He spent 14 hours in a car just to make sure we got there in style, all while fighting the pancreatic cancer in his body.  Never once did I see him appear tired or out of sorts.  Pure guts and love.  When we arrived at the end of the ride in Thornton, NH, Peter met most of Karen Petty's family, and he knew instantly why it is that I do what I do to honor Karen and her family.  He couldn't say enough times how much he enjoyed all of their company, and how welcome he felt.

More recently, leading up to November, Peter helped me plan our annual awareness event and vigil for Pancreatic Cancer survivors and those who have passed.  That was Nov. 20th.  Peter as always stepped up to the plate to help me out with everything he could.  He showed up to the event with tables, chairs, extension cords, and a whole lot of energy as always.  He got up in front of a crowd of 300 people and made an awesome speech, and presented me with a quilt made by a family member that has photos of our bike ride adventure together.  I was truly honored to feel so important to a guy that I admired so much.  I will treasure that quilt for the rest of my life.  After the event I knew Peter was having some health issues, but it didn't sound like anything he hadn't been through before.  I read his Caring Bridge posts, and he sounded upbeat as always, talking about new treatments.  Pure guts.  Three weeks to the day after the Purple Light event that we attended together so successfully, Peter suddenly succumbed to the disease he fought so valiantly.  For him to be beaten by it, I now realize that it is an unstoppable force.  Money can't beat it, Steve Jobs passing proved that.  Peter's passing proved that even the toughest and bravest man I have had the honor of knowing couldn't stop it.  Basically if you beat pancreatic cancer, you were lucky enough to catch it early, or you are a miracle.  I am deeply saddened by the loss of my friend, but I know Peter would want me to take something good from it.  It has reinforced my resolve that I must not stop until this disease is gone.  I will be finding a way to honor Peter in my own way, and I will smash the disease that took Karen and Peter from us before their times. I swear I will with all of my heart.




We Will Miss You Peter,


Your Friend - Eric Costantino      

Product Review - Hickory Farms - A Company That Supports Our Troops

Even Babies Love Hickory Farms Summer Sausage!

I finally found some time to invite some neighbors over to have a little holiday get together last night.  The holiday season has been crazy so far with parties and the like.  I also totaled my car recently and have been working on my "new" 1996 Chevy Truck - but that is a story for another post!  Aside from loving my neighbors, the party was prompted by a blog article that Mom Central asked me to write on behalf of Hickory Farms, and it was a welcome break to laying under the truck, or splitting firewood.  When I got the offer to review and test their product, I was really struck by one thing that led me to go ahead with the review.  They offer free shipping to military personnel at FPO/APO addresses.  Being a former Marine I was impressed with this aspect of their company, and I figured I'd give it a try.  When I got my Hickory Farms gift basket in the mail it was nicely arranged, and packed beautifully.  In the Summer Sausage and Cheese Gift Basket we got 2 sticks of summer sausage, a smoked cheddar cheese, a Farmhouse Cheddar, and a Smoked Gouda.


When the company arrived with their kids it didn't take long for the plate to get emptied while waiting for the main courses to arrive.  I would have to say that the smoked cheddar was the big hit of the night, illiciting the comment, "it tastes like bacon" more than once.  Heck in my book if it tastes like bacon then it can't be bad!  

My wifes beautiful presentation.  We're going to sign her
up for Iron Chef!

I also really enjoyed the summer sausage and the other cheeses on the plate.  The beer and wine we served helped to wash it all down, and particularly, the red wine was awesome with the cheeses.  I have to give all of the thanks to my wife for arranging it so neatly.  If left up to me there would have been 3 blocks of cheese, 2 sticks of sausage, and a box of crackers on the table with a butter knife.  I have been made a believer of the Hickory Farms product.  I applaud Hickory Farms for their dedication to our members of the armed forces.  Back in my Marine Corps days, I know my buddies and I would have been thrilled to open up a gift package full of this stuff!  The hell with the arrangement, it would have been down the hatch in 5 minutes flat!  Congrats on a job well done Hickory Farms, keep up the good work, and keep those smokers fired up!  Visit http://www.hickoryfarms.com/ and treat a friend to a great party starter, and a wonderful holiday gift.


Happy Sausage!


Wacky Dad


“I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Hickory Farms and received a product sample to facilitate my review and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas - A Snowmaker's Perspective

This year has sucked wind so far as far as snow making goes.  Many of you know that I make my own snow at my home here in Rhode Island from my obsessive post from last year.  It is pretty much my only form of Christmas decoration.  From the time I was a teenager I used to make my own snow, with my own home built and Costantino designed snowmaker every year for Christmas.  You know, white Christmas, all that jazz.  Well the damn tropical weather pattern we're in ain't exactly a snowmaker's dream (or a skiiers for that matter).  Enough is enough already!  We have all enjoyed the 10th Indian summer of the season, but it is time for winter to settle on in and and take hold now!  Here is a little video of my snowmaking adventures from last year.



I haven't even had a night where firing up the snowmaker has been an option.  I usually get some days in late November and early December when temps are cold enough - about 25 degrees or under is optimal.  I am ready and waiting.  Bring it on mother nature!  I do remember one year when I was a kid when there was no snowmaking weather possible until Christmas Eve.  I stayed up all night long, sleeping only in 1 hours shifts, in order to spray enough snow on the front yard of our home in West Warwick.  I was tired as hell the next day, but I beat mother nature, and we had our white Christmas.  So listen Mom Nature, you unagreeable wench, I am willing to do whatever it takes to make sure I have a white Christmas, so you might as well give in and lower the temps right now.  I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, and I won't be denied!


Snow Crazed!


Wacky Dad

Movie Review: Game Of Your Life

Here I am again reviewing another movie for the the P&G Family Movie Night.  Game Of Your Life, which will air on Friday, December 2 on NBC at 8pm ET/7pm CT, was probably my favorite yet.  This movie dealt with an older cast of kids, freshman college age, and seemed a little more attuned to adults and kids alike.  I won't give away too much of the plot, but Zach Taylor, the lead actor in the movie played by Titus Makin Jr. wins a scholarship to a prestigious school for video gamers.  He is teamed up with three others to create the ultimate video game.  He ends up with 2 crazy brothers who are truly hilarious named Nathan and Donald played by Nathan Kress from ICarly and Adam Cagley.

These two guys are really great together and keep you laughing through the whole movie, even when things take a turn to the serious.  Sara Ramirez is the "producer" of the team, or the team leader.  She has some tough choices to make when Zach goes down the wrong path, and threatens the teams viability as a whole.  Lea Thompson (Back To The Future) plays one of the professors in the movie, and is also married to the dean of the school. Lea is great in her role of the wise mother type toward Zach. The resident bad guy is played by Tom Nowicki as Marcus Bentton.  When I say he is the bad guy, I'm not revealing anything you won't find out in the first or second act.  As always with the P&G family night they are trying to make a point.  In this movie I believe that the moral of the story was integrity.  I'll let you watch to find out why!  You can learn more about Game Of Your Life at http://www.familymovienight.com/ or head on over to Facebook http://www.facebook.com/familymovienight and visit the Family Movie Night fan page to find out more, and hear some buzz about the movie.  I hope you enjoy the show with the family.  I'll definitely be watching with the kids on Friday!  


Happy Movie!


Wacky Dad   


“I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Dad Central Consulting on behalf of P&G and received a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

My Dishwasher Has A Soul!

Her Name is Bessie!

Alright I know this might sound weird, and maybe it is, I didn't get the title Wacky Dad for nothing.  I have been in a serious power struggle for the past few weeks with my dishwasher.  You need a little history about this dishwasher, so here goes.  As some of you know I am a contractor, and run jobs for Legacy Custom Remodeling in Rhode Island.  You have to forgive the plug, but this company has a lot of my blood, sweat, and tears in it, so I am shameless when it comes to promoting it!  Back to the story.  I was demolishing a kitchen, and a bunch of other rooms in a customer's house.  They told me to get rid of the dishwasher.  I asked why since it looked pretty new.  Apparently it didn't match the color scheme - they wanted stainless steel.  Being the scrounge that I am I saw dollar signs, and I opted to take it home and recycle it, instead of putting it in the dumpster.  It is a Kitchen-Aid, and is a pretty expensive model, and since mine was one step ahead of Fred Flintstone's dishwasher, I figured it would be a welcome upgrade.  I was right, I installed it, and it fired up and worked fine for a couple of years.  I guess around 2 years into it I had to replace some kind of over temp switch in it.  I diagnosed it online through Google, and bought the $30 switch at a local appliance repair shop.  I got another good year and a half out of it until recently my old girl started getting ornery again. I'd start a load, and come back 1/2 hour later and the clean light would be flashing - which it never does.  Again I Googled it and found a reset code online that would get the machine to run again, but much to my chagrin, I would get it to "wash" a load and then the damned thing would crap out again.  Something had to be wrong, and I was almost at the point where I thought I would have to break down and get a new one.  My wife even suggested calling an appliance repairman.  Of course she knows that this is the ultimate slap in the face to a Costantino male.  We would shoot a damned appliance guy if he showed up at the house.  If it's broken we can fix it, period!  Another day or so passed a light shined down from heaven on me and the back of a beat up old pickup truck.  It carried a precious cargo, a beat up Kitchen-Aid dishwasher!  Since I knew the guy who owned the truck, and knew that the dishwasher was destined for the scrapyard, I asked him if I could have it.  You know, everyone needs a parts dishwasher!  I took it home, and it sat for a couple of days.  I had temporarily gotten my dishwasher to work by whacking the shit out of the top panel, where I know the circuit board is installed. Eventually it crapped out again, so I woke up early the next morning and opened up the parts dishwasher and removed it's "brain" and installed it in mine.  I started it up and all systems seemed to be a go.  Unfortunately I had to get to work, so I couldn't stand next to it and listen to it run it's 90 minute cycle.  When I got home our babysitter told me that it finished it's cycle, and seemed to be working, but she seemed a little hesitant when she answered me.  In my gut I knew something was still going on with my old pal.  We ate dinner and I ran it through a cycle.  It seemed to run through fine, but when I opened it up and checked the dishes the stuff looked like it does when the dog licks them clean.  Sort of clean, but just a bit sketchy!  I tried again, and got the same results.  I came to the conclusion that I had some sort of water pressure problem - it looked like it was cleaning with dirty water.  Tonight after we got home I decided to take one more crack at the thing.  I took both dish racks out of Bessie (that is her name - yeah the dishwasher!) and started taking things apart.  I made it all the way into the bowels of the beast where I found some unnameable crap that was horrifying, but oddly beautiful to look at.  Beautiful because in my meat head heart, I knew I had found the problem!  Glass, plastic, sludge, some type of fabric, you name it, I found it!  With my head shoved up the rear end of Bessie, and my daughter Abby dutifully holding the flashlight at something close to steady, I cleaned the thing to perfection!  In a few minutes I put it back together and ran it through the long cycle with a load of dishes to really let the thing purge itself out.  It was the longest 90 minutes of my life!  I must have spent at least a half hour with my ear pasted to the door, listening to the cleaning sounds that were hidden from my view.  It sounded strong, powerful, like a young dishwasher!  The moment of truth finally came!!!  Ok wait for it....Shaaazaaam!  The dishes were all sparkling like friggin' crystal!  I mean this thing is cleaning like brand damned new!  It was like having an old friend cured from a disease.  I love that old dishwasher, and the more I work on it, and the more it performs for me, the more I like it.  I'm what I would call a born mechanic, I have worked on and fixed crap my whole life.  When you own a machine and put your heart and soul into it, they seem to take on a life of their own.  They become like family, sometimes they can be a pain in the ass, but you still love them for what they do and who they are.  I swear that old dishwasher of mine has a soul, and tonight she is doing her duty as finely as any fancy new dishwasher out there!  Nice job Bessie!

Love,

Wacky Dad          

A Man And His Wood Stove

Hey everyone!  I'm back after a little blogging respite, and intend to grace you with my presence through the winter now!  Ain't you lucky?  Today I am here to tell you about my new obsession, yeah like I need another one right!  I recently purchased a wood stove for my house.  I have been thinking about this for years, and I finally bit the bullet this year and got one.  Seeing my oils bills rise to around $4000 per year was the final straw.  I also come across a fair amount of free wood in my travels as a contractor, so I figured it was worth a shot.  After a bunch of wheeling and dealing I managed to get myself a nice setup for a decent price.  Of course no self loving Meathead would allow anyone else to install his brand new toy, so I never even considered having anyone install it for me.  Little did I know what a royal pain in the ass it was going to be.  For most houses installing a woodstove is a fairly easy deal.  I had to put a flue liner in my chimney, and really wanted to do it right and go all the way from the top of the chimney to the new wood stove.  This is where the problem came in.  I swear the devil built my chimney.  The thing has more twists and turns in it then a friggin' maze.  So when I tried to drop my flue down the chimney like most normal people do, it wouldn't get past the first bend.  I could see it, but it just wasn't going to come.

I even set up a damned block and tackle in there to pull with.  True to form I pulled the rope right off the sucker.  So I pulled it back out and tried again.  Right around this time I called my father for reinforcements since I was climbing up an down the roof like a moron, over and over.  I figured with 2 guys we'd be able to push and pull at the same time and get that baby through.  No such luck.  Turns out I had to bring the 35' stainless flue liner into my house (the wife wasn't looking) and push it up that way.  The corner was a little less sharp this way, and after 2 hours of me pushing the pipe up like a maniac while sitting in the fire box, and Dad on the roof pulling for all he was worth, we finally inched the son of a bitch up the chimney the whole way.  Now after all of that hell, I was determined to get the pisser running that night.  My father and I lifted the 400 pound beast into the basement, and slid it into place.  I have to say my dad is one hell of a sport.  Of course he did bitch and moan the whole time, but he thoroughly enjoyed taking the pictures you see here of me struggling with the flue.  Anyway once we got it in place the installation was very simple.  I had it up and running within an hour.  I have been totally obsessed ever since.  I can't even sleep I'm so excited.  You see Costantino men are really sick.  Once we get an idea in our heads, we just can't get it out.  I have been heating the house entirely with the stove, but still have a couple of cold spots.  This is the obsessed part.

I have devised any number of ways to get the heat to these spots.  Everything from cutting registers in the floor, to fire heating hot water to run through a fan blown coil, you name it, I thunk it.  The other thing is that I can't bear the idea of the stove actually going out.  This leads to me waking up spontaneously every night and feeding logs in the hungry bastard (even though it does make it through the night without my attention).  All in all though I am totally in love with my wood stove.  I am obsessed with sitting in front of it.  I get dressed near it in the morning, and it is the last thing I see at night.  I even thoroughly enjoyed stacking the 2 cords of wood in my driveway the other day.  2 hours of hard work and it was done.  There is something very pleasing about creating your own heat, without dependence on the oil man.  I have not run my heat in 2 weeks, and it makes my insides all warm and fuzzy!  Bite me Exxon-Mobil!


Stay Warm!

Wacky Dad      

Old Friends On A Quick Trip To Maine

A Lobsterman in Southport Maine

This weekend was a real winner.  It has been years since we have gone away with our good friends Billy and Lisa, and to celebrate their 15th anniversary, we took a quick trip up to Boothbay Harbor Maine.  I have never been to Boothbay, and have spent very little time in Maine that is only about 2 hours away.  When Billy asked me if I would like to make the trip with them I was psyched to spend the weekend together with them and my wife, and also check out Maine.  When we arrived, I was really taken in by the natural beauty of Maine's incredible coastline.  As a Rhode Islander, it is easy to take the ocean and the seaside for granted, but Maine really makes your jaw drop.  What a pastoral place to visit.

An old schooner in Boothbay Harbor

We didn't really have an agenda for this trip, but we were 2 couples out on a little weekend adventure, and on a mission to just have some good old fun and take a couple of days off from everything, including the kids.  One thing that we made certain of is that we had packed a few bottles of wine to relax and sit on the front porch of our bed and breakfast with.  The weather was unbelievably warm for this late in October.  We did some shopping in town when we got there yesterday.  I think Billy and I sucked it up pretty well considering that we really hate the whole shopping thing.  We had an awesome lunch at a place called Mceagulls.  Lets just say that the "Lobster Stew" was to die for.  The 22 oz. beers were pretty damned good too.  After lunch, we checked into our Bed and Breakfast, The Greenleaf Inn, which was right across the road from the water.  What a beautiful place to stay; comfortable mattresses, good shower heads, and awesome breakfast, so no complaints!  We let lunch digest for a while, hunted some sea glass on a local beach, and took the opportunity to take in a few glasses of wine on the front porch of our bed and breakfast.  While we were sitting out there, we had a passing rain shower that created this stunning double rainbow. 

I even risked my beloved Sony camera to grab this shot in the rain.  It has never seen the rain before this, but it isn't every day you catch a rainbow as bright and as vivid as this on film.  When it got dark, we headed on down to this cool restaurant right across the street from us, that is actually an old tugboat.  We didn't really know what the food was going to be like, but it ain't every day that you get to eat in an old tugboat, so we gave it a shot.    They ended up putting us in the basement dining room and it turns out it wasn't underwater.  We ended up eating in a room that was somehow filled with a group of local seniors who were really whooping it up with a local singer.  I think we were the only ones under the age of 75 in the place, but let me tell you we had one hell of a good time, and the food was excellent.  My wife and I danced several dances (the wine didn't hurt in this department).  We witnessed a 90 year old lady playing-the-hell out of a kazoo with other accompanying instruments.  I seriously woke up hoarse this morning because I was laughing so hard.

The Tugboat Inn

All in all, it was a great time with old friends and my bride!  Today, after breakfast and checkout, we took a leisurely drive home along the coast, stopping anywhere we thought looked cool.  We stopped at Hendrick's beach in Southport and hunted some more sea glass, a favorite of Lisa's.  I love to hunt for anything, whether it is a pheasant, or glass so I was totally in.  W also stopped in Freeport and Ogunquan.  It took us about 8 hours or so of stopping and going before we actually made it home.  Virtually every stop included food of course!  I am desperately afraid to get back on the scale!  It really was awesome to get away with Billy and Lisa for this special weekend that commemorated their 15th anniversary.  I have known Billy since I was in diapers, and he remains my closest friend today, and he is really like a brother to me, especially since I don't have any siblings.  Billy dated Lisa all the way back in high school, so I have known her for an awful long time as well, and we have always loved each other.  Add my own bride of 16 years into the mix, and I can't think of anyone else I would rather have been with this weekend.  There aren't many people I could spend 8 hours in the car with and be pleasant with for the whole time, but we just joked around and had an awesome time.  To my old buddies Billy and Lisa, I wish you both a Happy Anniversary!  I love you both, and Cathy and I had one hell of a good time with you on our little 2 day adventure to Maine!  Lets do it again in another 15 years!  We'll fit in with the snow birds even better when we look the part!


Good Times!


Wacky Dad

      

My Blog - My Diary

Here are two reasons to blog. Give them
great and vivid memories!

I have come to the conclusion that I ain't ever going to get rich writing my blog.  I once thought it might be possible to make a few bucks at it, but it seems that the chances are pretty remote!  Aside from the occasional free product, or gift cards, the time spent writing could be better spent panning for gold in the brook in front of my house!  The best thing about this blog, and anyone's blog, is that it is a living diary.  Lets face it, writing a diary is kind of boring.  You can't add pictures, you tube video, links, or any of that good shit!  Here I can create content rich posts that my kids will be able to look at with their kids in 30 years, and really get a kick out of.  Some of the things I treasure most are a series of letters that my Papa Mario wrote to me while I was in the Marine Corps.  These letters gave an incredibly detailed biography of his life and I am so honored and glad to have them.  Every time I write in this blog I think about those letters and what they mean to me.  Here I am getting all of the benefits of writing a diary, but it is a social diary.  I have met a ton of cool people through blogging, and the social media outlets I use to promote the blog.  For an anti social jackass like me this is a real milestone.  It's funny, I am not a big talker, but put me on Twitter where the one liner rules, and I am right in my element.  Everything is just so short and sweet.  The other thing I like about the blog, is that even though I may not have a gigantic readership, I still get a chance to highlight some things that are very important to me.  I am able to put my kids on a pedestal when they are deserving, I can poke fun at my old man publicly which is always very fun, and easy to do, I can tell the world what wonderful wife I have, and I can use my blog and social media outlets to further my volunteer work to fight pancreatic cancer.  If there was no other reason than having a written history of my daily life to let my kids enjoy with their future families, then that would be enough.  If you're not blogging I highly recommend the benefits of owning one.  If you love to write and have fun, it is a great place to be! 




Happy Blogging!


Wacky Dad

Campfire Cuisine

Tonight was a really cool night.  My 3-1/2 year old Mia and I had a chance to spend the night together at the house.  My father-in-law had the two older girls over for the night, and Cathy was at work, so Mia was stuck with her old dad!  I will preface this by saying that I had a pretty rotten day - I rear ended someone in my car today.  No injuries, but not exactly good news, especially for my vehicle!  I don't exactly have a stellar record when it come to bumping into stuff, so I am a little worried that the insurance company is going to drop me, or at the least bump my rates even higher than they already are.  Ughh.  Ok enough of that crap.  On the way home from work I got the thought in my head that it would be a great night to have a quick campfire out in the yard.  This time of year is my favorite for outdoor fires, and Mia really digs them!  I had to stop at the store anyway, so I grabbed a package of hot dogs and some hot dog buns and raced home to get the fire lit.  I ran the idea by Mia and she was totally into it!

I split a bunch of wood a couple of weeks ago, so the fire was pretty much ready to light.  Mia and I hunted around for some small kindling out in the woods and got the fire roaring in no time.  We took the hot dogs, a couple of paper plates, a lighter, some mustard, and a bag of marshmallows down to the fire pit.  All you have to do is stick the hotdog on a stick, put it over the flames for a couple of minutes, and you have a truly delicious meat head delicacy!  Mia had one, I had four!  They were great.  We then switched to marshmallows, which Mia is surprisingly good at for a 3 year old.  She only torches them about 80% of the time.  My other kids were at about a 99.5% burn rate at Mia's age.  We followed up the marshamallows by sitting and watching the flames and the stars for a half hour or so.  We ended the night with a 1/2 hour of Dirty Jobs on TV and reading two kids books.  All in all it was one of the most enjoyable evenings I have ever had together with Mia.  It really is amazing how much more you can connect with them when you're one on one, and not with the whole crew.  It was a good reminder for me that I need to prioritize these father daughter dates with all of my girls.  They are something I have always done, but when we get busy it sometimes slips by us just how important those little windows of time are to our kids.  They just think it is so cool to be alone with dad for a while, especially when you do "Dad" type of stuff with them.  I highly recommend this kind of campfire cuisine.  Go out, grab a package of hot dogs, some buns, and enjoy!

Love,


Wacky Dad   

When Your Little Girl Grows Up

My Abby!

Man, I'll tell you, the last 11 years have flown by since my daughter Abigail was born.  Something struck me tonight as I was lying with her at bedtime talking and reading, the way I have for almost every night for the last 11 years, that this nightly routine's days are numbered.  Sometime soon she'll be kicking me to the curb and doing whatever it is that teenager's do.  I'm glad it was dark in the room when I had this epiphany, because as this fact dawned on me, my eyes actually teared up.  Maybe I am a dimwit, but this fact of life has never really struck me until tonight.  I am lucky to share a close relationship with all of my daughters, and Abby and I have always had a special bond with each other.  I remember fishing with Abby when she was just a baby, she was just happy to be along.  We used to take long walks in the woods together, Abby on my back in a backpack carrier.  She used to fall asleep right on my back and her cheek used to bounce on my shoulder as she slept.  Whatever we do together we just thoroughly enjoy.  The other day we had a father/daughter day out. We went wild mushrooming (we got 4 nice hen of the woods by the way) and we had a special lunch at a hibachi grille.  I just loved watching her smile as she watched the chef cook in front of us.  We just love each other.  I am pretty proud to say that when Abby has something on her mind she is just as likely to bounce it off her old dad as she is her mom.  Maybe that isn't as rare as I think, but it sure makes me feel needed and loved.  She says to me all of the time "you're the best dad in the world" or "you're cool".  She is my biggest fan.  The feeling is mutual.  I can't be any more proud of my "little girl".  I think one good thing about having three daughters from the ages of 3 to 11 is the fact that I will be slowly weaned off my children.  I guess it's good.  Or will it prolong the agony?  Perhaps I will grow with time, but right now the thought of not having my girls around me makes my insides ache.  I know fathers that have lived through it, but I wonder if they feel such a loss.  I have never asked them.  I guess I should be glad that I have such a strong father/daughter bond with Abby,  but I sure will rue the day when she ain't my little girl any more.  It is a selfish thought, but if I could stop the clock and keep my kids like they are right now I'd do it in a heartbeat.  Abigail, to you I say "you're the best daughter in the whole world", and "you're cool".  In my mind you will always be my little girl.


Love,




Your Wacky Daddy    

Chasing Pheasant With Wacky Dad and Holly

My Crazy Holly!

     Tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year.  Since I was a young kid, maybe 10 or so, I have gone out in the woods almost every year on opening day of pheasant hunting.  As a kid we had a Brittany Spaniel, the breed has now been renamed simply "Brittany".  My childhood dog was named Lady, and she really lived up to her name. She was a kind and loving dog to all.  But when it came to pheasant time she traded in her mild mannered ways for a more rock and roll style.  This dog could hunt, and was one determined pup!  Lady was a tireless hunter, commonly swimming across icy rivers to retrieve downed birds that Dad so artfully knocked down with his old bolt action 20 gauge, the same style gun I hunt with till this day.  When all the other dogs were worn out Lady was still up for the fight.  As I got older I was able to get a hunting license, and that time in the woods with my father and Lady are memories I'll never forget.  I remember the exact spot where I got my first bird, and still go back there year after year to try my luck again.  It is a dream of mine to relive that magic moment of seeing a whole covey of quail right there under that same pine tree!  As Lady grew older I used to bring her out in the woods earlier and earlier every year to get her in shape.  She always got excited to hunt, even when age started to nag at her.  We both loved being out there together.  She finally succumbed to cancer when she was about 15 years old, and I remember sobbing like a baby with my old man as they euthanized her.  That dog was like gold.  We loved her.

Ailey in the woods with me at 4 Years old on her first hunt

    I then went in the Marine Corps and even though I still hunted in North Carolina with buddies, it was always without a dog.  It just wasn't the same.  After I got out of the Corps and we had our first daughter Abigail I finally talked my loving wife into getting a dog.  Of course it had to be a Britt!  I was so excited to get another dog.  I had to have a female. I dreamed of a dog just like Lady - fine manners - but hell on wheels in the woods.  We drove out to a rural part of Connecticut when I found a breeder with a litter.  I remember all of those little balls of fur - but there was one that stood out above the rest.  Most of them were kind of sleeping or laying there like lumps, but there was one active female that was just sort of all over the place. Then the guy took out a pheasant wing and dropped it to the ground.  The little active Britt pounced on that wing as if it were the real thing and just went to town on the thing!  I was hooked!  I had the pick of the litter and she was mine!

Abby was a veteran at this point.  She is 7 years old!

Well it turns out that I did get one incredible hunter.  Holly was in the woods at about 5-6 months old and was pointing birds her first season.  She is at least as tireless as Lady ever was, and dare I say she may even have a better nose.  Lady was a much more polished bird dog due to my father's training, but Holly's instinct and drive are just amazing.  There are years when friends and I have taken over 35 birds home in a season - all shot over Holly.  This is a pretty rare feat in Rhode Island.  Holly came with a caveat though.  Although she is a great hunter, she keeps me in a permanent state of purgatory for the rest of non-hunting season - 9 months a year!  The damned dog is just insane.  Her favorite delicacy is the white stuffing that is in the couch pillows.  Holly has consumed at least her own weight in stuffing over the years.  She is also an incredible escape artist.  She used to hop the 5' fence at our old house, she actually used to hit the top of the fence with her hind paws and propel herself off like a rocket.  Once she gets out it is like trying to catch greased lightning, and since she is a born athlete, not only is she fast, but she never tires - so chasing the little sucker is a heart attack waiting to happen!  Now you would think that this sort of "puppy" behavior would end when Holly got a bit older.  Well I have been waiting for 10 years now, and have finally given up wishing for her to slow down.  Now even though it pisses me off, I have to kind of respect her spirit when she escapes in the neighborhood and still eludes me for an hour - usually ending up in some neighbors house eating their dogs food, or rolling around in some horrendously stinky "stuff"!  She still eats pillows, it is almost a daily event.  I think part of it is spite - "Well you didn't hunt with me today asshole so I am going to eat your damned pillow again"!  Truthfully Holly is nothing like Lady except in her hunting.  She is brash and bold, not "Lady" like at all.  But I have to say that whenever the air starts to get cool in the fall I look forward to watching her beautiful hunting style.  She really is poetry in motion when she is on a birds scent.

  Holly - Happy opening day you crazy little bastard!  I am looking forward to hitting the fields with you tomorrow morning for our 10th year in a row, and I know you will be as beautiful as ever!  Here is to many more together. Stay crazy!


Love,


Your Wacky Dad : AKA Man Who Likes To Hunt Birds    

Wild Mushooms for Dinner!

My haul on the way home from work

I have been totally obsessed with hunting wild mushrooms this year, and we have been very successful on our hunts.  Here are a few photos and a video of dinner at the Costantino house after a score in the woods!  Time to get out there and pick 'em!  

Mushrooming at Dusk!

Abby with a huge hen of the woods!





Oh how I wish my grandfather were here to enjoy these things.  He spent my whole adult life talking about eating wild mushrooms when he was a kid, and I never really found anything to give him until this year.  I guess where he is there are wild mushrooms on every oak tree!  Happy picking Papa!  



Bon Appetit!


Wacky Dad

Why Does TV Suck?

You now back in the day there used to be some pretty good show on television.  Cheers, Seinfeld, Night Court, even Friends was mildily amusing.  Then you had Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Star Trek, all pretty good stuff.  So what in hell happened?  Now all there seems to be is suck ass sitcoms, and the lamest type of reality shows imaginable!  Housewives of New Jersey is one that makes me want to puke!  Thank God I like to read or else I might sprain my thumbs every night after the kids go to sleep for boredom!  Unfortunately my wife does like the exact shows that I hate.  Does it really have to be this way?  Why can't we have a good show on TV any more?  I even tried to watch the beloved Modern Family once and I wasn't impressed.  I have been assured that I must have watched a bad night, but I am not convinced.  Oh yeah and Glee do we really need to sing through every show!    To be fair there are a couple of shows that I like or liked.  Survivorman rocked - the guy is a true bad ass and did all of the stuff on the show for real.  House is another great show, even though the topic is a bit old now - Hugh is one funny dude.  The Deadliest Catch - those guys are cool.  I don't know - maybe I am missing the boat.  Is there anything out there that could possibly please me and my wife at the same time on TV?  I would like to find some common ground so we can watch a couple of shows a week together and not have me heckle it the whole time!  Who knows - maybe I am just a jerk!  I would love your television suggestions, and I promise I will be open minded if they don't suck!


Jonesing For Good TV,


Wacky Dad 

Papa Mario - The Best!

Papa and me

He loved his red wine!

Mia Cracking Papa Up!

There are many things that remind me of my Papa Mario.  I have taken to drinking his favorite boxed wine since he passed away as a sort of tribute to him.  I have felt his absence these past few days for some reason.  Maybe because this was always the time of year when we used to set up our weekly family dinners on one night a week, and all get to see each other.  I remember one night not too long ago we had Papa and my parents over to the house.  He used to love to eat all kind of crazy shit.  This night he brought over pickled pigs feet. 

A True Clasicc

He actually got my meathead daugher Ailey to try one of the nasty things!  I did too.  I even pretended to like it to please my grandfather.  Ailey didn't!  He just thought eating that stuff in front of everyone was so fun!  I miss the old guy like hell.  I just wanted to post a few photos of him tonight to help me keep his memory fresh in my mind.  Damn he was a funny and good guy!  I will also include our favorite video of Papa Mario - His take on Heaven - or the hereafter as he called it.  Papa didn't believe in heaven - but to hear him tell it was just priceless.  If anyone deserved to make it there it was him.  I know he was standing in front of the pearly gates saying to himself - oh damn I have some explaining to do!  If anyone else had a grandfather that you just loved I would certainly love to hear about him!  


Other Papa Posts
http://www.wackydads.com/2011/01/papa-mario-on-american-chop-suey.html
http://www.wackydads.com/2010/12/papa-mario-on-heaven-hereafter.html




Love From Your Grandson,


Eric

Wordless Wednesday- Natural Beauty!

Wacky Mushrooms!

Mia and Ailey with the "Signorita".  This is one of the fool
proof four!

I know what your thinking!  No I am not doing any funny shrooms!  It is that time of year again when the kids and I get out in the woods and hunt down a couple of our favorite wild mushrooms.  The kids really get into this.  Yesterday we found a nice "Signorita" or Sulphur Shelf.  This is one of the most delicious mushrooms, wild or domestic that I have ever eaten.  My wife drools for the things whenever I get it.  It would be a great mushroom for a vegetarian because it's texture is very much like meat.  It is also one of the foolproof edible mushrooms which are the only ones I go after because I enjoy living!  There are some truly deadly mushrooms out there, such as amanitas, so it is nothing to screw around with.  If you don't know what your doing then go to a class or go shrooming with someone who does know.  Otherwise you can read incessantly like me and find out which mushrooms are actually foolproof to find.  Another mushroom that we love is called the hen of the woods, and it actually appears a bit like a feathered bird.  

Hen Of The Woods

Giant Puffball

Here is a photo of a Hen.  This is not one of the foolproof four, but it is a very distinctive looking mushroom that once you've seen it, is hard to miss.  These are really delicious, and I loved serving it with the pheasant that I cooked last fall.  These are usually found at the base of oak trees or stumps.

Chanterelles
Photo by http://www.saveourskills.com

Morels

The other 3 mushrooms that are in the foolproof four are the following.  Morels, Giant Puffball, and Chanterelles.  The Puffballs are easy to find and are all edible, but young aminitas can look like puffballs so stick to the giants.  Honestly I have never found any morels or Chanterelles so I don't know a whole lot about them except that they are supposed to be tasty!   

The thing that I like most about mushrooming is that it gets me and the girls out in the woods together and we really have a great time looking for these tasty treats.  We even serenade the signoritas at the top of our lungs, and it actually seems to increase our luck.  We call out at the top of our lungs "Ohhhhhhhh Signorita" and laugh like hell.  Give mushrooming a try sometime.  Even if you don't take anything home you will have a great time trying to identify mushrooms with a field guide and the kids will get some great exercise, as well as learn something about this world we live in.  Yesterday we climbed a huge rock that is in our favorite mushroom spot.  The kids love this, and it has become a yearly tradition to get a picture of them sitting on the rock during mushroom season.  Yesterdays shots are above.  Abby is missing because she was at a birthday party. 

This is a termite eaten tree that we found along the route that got knocked down by the recent hurricane. The kids got a kick out of seeing just how powerful those little bugs can be.  If you love being out in the woods this activity is definitely a must try!  



Happy Shrooming!

Wacky Dad
    

10 Wacky Clues I'm Getting Old!

I am approaching 40 in a year and a half and age has started to creep up on me.  I can still kick ass with the best of them, don't get me wrong, but I definitely pay for it a bit more afterwards.  Here are 10 clues that I'm getting old.

Ok that is not me!  What the hell!

1.  There is gray hair growing out of my nose and ears.  I look like a deranged scrub brush with a big ass nose.


2.  I can ride my bike 2000 miles in a summer and still get fatter.


3.  My head glistens in the sunlight, and it ain't from highlights.


4.  I can't make the 10 minute ride to the office after drinking 2 cups of coffee in the morning without almost pissing myself.  My fathers answer to this, carry a wide mouth bottle with you in the car.  I'm not there yet but am starting to see the wisdom in it!






5.  There are more parts on my body that are broken then there are that are whole.

Sweet relief after 100 on the bike!

6.  I have used Preparation H.  Only after long bicycle rides but still!

7.  Kids call me Mr. Costantino.  What the hell!  I always tell them that's my fathers name, and I stole that line from him!


8.  My oldest daughter is tall enough to reach the top cabinets with no stool.


9.  I look at minivans fondly.  Lord!!


10.  Well shit, I can't think of number 10 so maybe I'm not all that old yet!  I am still a lean, mean, fighting machine!  Or maybe I'm too damned old to count that high.  Whatever!  


Geriatrically,


Wacky Dad