10 REASONS WACKY DAD DOESN'T WATCH FOOTBALL

1.  I'm already fat enough and I am a pretty active guy.  Put me on the couch for a few hours a week and I would have to cut way back on my eating regimen just to keep the pot belly I already have from becoming a full blown gut!

2.  Football is boring as snot.  I hate the fact that 3 minutes of the game takes 30 minutes to watch.

3.  I hate to be like everyone else.  Everyone else likes football. I don't watch football.

4.  Super Bowl Sunday is the best ski day of the year!  There is nobody out there - especially when The Patriots are in the Super Bowl - Which I am told is not going to be the case this year - I do feel for all of my fat & skinny Patriots watching friends though.  Sorry all you Patriot boys & girls out there - they lost and you wasted your time watching all year long!  Come hang with me next year!  I'll be at Cannon Mountain bumping!

5.  I still fail to see the allure in watching big fat guys slamming themselves into each other repeatedly like knuckleheads.  The fact that they get brain damage from this repeated abuse is a little disheartening but then again most of them aren't playing with a full deck to start with.

6.  I can't sit still long enough to watch a whole football game.  I remember the time I went to see a game.  I must have eaten about 7 hot dogs and drank 5 beers before the game was over.  I spent more time in the concession line than in the seat.  Anything to get out of actually sitting there!  Actually that could have been baseball - can't stand that either!

7.  My daughters and wife dig the fact that their dad/husband doesn't sit around watching multiple games.  We are usually doing something fun while everyone else is hibernating in front of the TV.  I'd rather be skiing bumps on Rocket than watching big, fat, sweaty, linemen groping each other...

8.  A ball is supposed to be round.  Footballs aren't even round.  They look stupid.  Merriam Webster defines a ball as: a round or roundish body or mass.  See my point?  A football isn't even a damned ball!



9.  It is very freeing to know that I don't have to talk about all of that football bullshit with all of the guys.  They all know I can't stand it.  I don't like to talk about bullshit stuff.

10.  Of course one more reason not to watch football is the fact that I need to write this blog for my 3 followers and it gives me another thing to write about!  Plus sitting in this computer chair is way more healthy than sitting on the couch.  At least I only drink beer while doing this.  I leave out the cheesy nachos and hot wings!

** To all of my football watching friends out there - feel free to defend yourself by commenting!  

With Love,


Wacky Dad