Politically Incorrect Parenting - Wacky Dad Style

Ok I can't stand it anymore!  I have been reading a lot of parenting articles since I started this dad blog and I am a little bored by all of the pansy type dad stuff I read.  Whatever happened to the dad being the tough guy in the family?  Here are a few of the techniques I use to keep my little squad in line.  I spent six years in the Marine Corps and not a day goes by that I don't use the lessons learned while enlisted in raising my kids.

1.  If one kid screws up they all pay the price together.  This teaches the kid accountability & teamwork.  For instance if Abby leaves a mess in the bathroom then Abby and Ailey both pay the price in punishment and vice versa.  Before long you have a little team that reminds each other to do the right things to avoid dealing with their drill instructor father!  Unconventional but works great!

2.  Let them know you're insane!  I remember one time I made a little bit of an eccentric breakfast because there was nothing in the house.  I sliced up some polenta and fried it in butter on a skillet and served it with maple syrup.  I thought it tasted great but Abby and Ailey were disgusted and wouldn't eat it at all.  That didn't go very well for the buggers.  By the end I had 2 screaming/fake dry heaving kids and 2 empty plates.  Sometimes you just have to show them you're off your rocker!  My girls never quite know what to expect from me and I like it that way!  Prepping myself for the boyfriend years!

3.  Keep it fun.  When they least expect it bring home some pigs feet in a jar, sardines, or something gross!  My kids are so eager to be little meat heads that they will try any of this stuff if I tempt them with a "Meat Head Level".  This is just an arbitrary level of craziness that I deem that they have earned.  In my house being a little nuts is a good thing!  I think my older 2 girls are at meat head level 11 or thereabouts.  Mia is still what we call a "meat ball" since she is too young to become a true meat head yet.  You have to truly understand the concept to join the contest and 3 is too young!  We have so much fun with this and it builds competitive spirit!

4.  Kids fighting?  Make them lay on their backs right next to each other on the floor and hold their heels up 6" over the floor with straight legs.  While they are down there they need to make a plan about how NOT to fight.  It is amazing how quickly they find a compromise when they are in this position!  If they fight again repeat with vigor!  This really works and has lasting effects!  I affectionately call this "the treatment".  It has many variations.  The punishment can be holding out a shoe straight out while standing at attention (try that for 5 minutes and let me know if you would pay attention when you're done), Leg lifts, etc.  Anything to make them feel a bit of discomfort from the exercise.  When my kids act up I ask if they need the treatment...complete reversal of attitude is very common!

5.  Teach them that it is cool to push themselves to their physical limits.  Some of my biggest accomplishments in life have been my ability to endure discomfort, pain, and fatigue.  I make sure my kids know it is cool to do any of these things.  We always push the limits when we hang together.  When we ski together we often "close the lift" meaning that we ski a full day from 9-4 and hop on one of the last chair lift rides of the day!  We have raced down many a day and just made the closing!  They think this is so cool and brag about it after the day is done.  If we take a hike I make sure we pick a distance that they can be proud of and I let them know they accomplished something pretty tough.  Make them tough - they're going to need it someday!

6.  Find their talent and help them succeed at it.  Every kid has one thing they are better at than the others.  In this world of trying 50 different things at once I think kids are missing out on the chance to really succeed and be great at one particular activity whether it be music, sport, academics, or anything.  Make sure they are great at one of these things.  When you excel at one discipline you have a deep seated feeling that you can conquer other things and the truth is you can!

All right enough crap from me.  I'm not a perfect dad and nothing is foolproof but these are a few of the things that work in my family.  Even though I am tough my girls come running to the door every night to greet me.  They love me and I love them and part of that love stems from the fact that I respect my girls for what they do and they respect me for what I do.  For me that is enough.

Wacky Dad