My Princesses Wear fishing Boots - 5 WACKY REASONS TO FISH WITH YOUR KIDS!

Opening day of trout season
2010. 

As a kid I grew up fishing with my father.  I loved every second of it.  Little did I know at the time that we were actually fishing to make ends meet!  I love the story about my mother and father deciding whether they would by a loaf of bread or a dozen clam worms to go fishing with.  At the time, on a good day, you could go out and catch a bucket full of flounder, which is really excellent eating.  We decided to take the gamble and get the worms.  We brought home dinner in the form of a five gallon bucket full of flounder and had a great time doing it!  Those were the good old days.  I also love the story my father tells about taking out one of his best friends and me to fish one day in a small rowboat on a bitter cold day.  After the first hour his buddy was complaining about how cold he was.  We ignored him as long as we could.  Finally my dad pulled up the anchor and dropped his butt off on shore.  We went back out and fished for a couple more hours!  We loved pulling in those fish but we also loved the time together.  Sometimes it would be quiet and sometimes we would chat sparsely while concentrating for the plunk of the dobber or the tug on the line.  Pure bliss!


Here are 5 reasons I love to fish with my own girls.


1.    It teaches your kids to be patient.  Time away from the hustle and bustle of todays life is like letting the batteries recharge on kids. The single mindedness of standing on the shore and watching your line intently waiting for a bite is just great for kids that have way to much stimulation in their lives.  Imagine fishing without a Wii!


2.  I love to fish!  I, like my father, am in love with all of my hobbies.  As a kid I did everything my father did.  He did the things that he loved and he gave me life long passions for so many things that we did together.  Fishing was one of those things.  I hope that my daughters will continue to enjoy my hobbies with me!

Yes this knucklehead is a goof ball like her father!

3.  Talking together.  In between baiting hooks, untangling lines, removing hooks from trees etc.. we have a lot of time to talk.  The quietness that fishing requires doesn't stop us from talking quietly about all manner of things.  This quiet time together is when a kid and their dad can really learn about each other, enjoy each others company, and even goof off!

Papa Mario!

4.  Your Papa loves you for it!  My 93 year old grandfather Mario loves trout more than most things on this earth!  Bringing him those fish is like bringing him gold.  I think it is important that my kids enjoy sharing their catch with their great grandfather and seeing his reaction gives a renewed sense of accomplishment in their catch!

A hen of the woods found by me
and the girls

5.  Self sufficiency.  Fishing adds another layer of being able to survive off the land when need be.  I think that too many people in our society have become complacent in learning the arts that allow us to survive off the land.  My daughters are more aware of the edible wild plants that are available in the wild than 99% of the people in this country.  Somehow that makes this meat head of a dad happy and proud!


Happy Fishing!


Wacky Dad

CARRYING ON THE FAMILY NAME WITH 3 DAUGHTERS

Four Costantino's - We want to keep it that way!

    Ok folks I have a big quandary to deal with here.  I have 3 daughters and I am an only child.  That leaves me with nobody to carry on the Costantino name.  Our blood will be safe since my daughters are all strong minded little meat heads like myself, but there is just something in a name.  It makes me sad to know that my fathers name will end with me.  Of course it will probably be quite an end - me slamming a tree while skiing some trail I don't belong on, or me careening into a car on my bike as an old geezer, but it will still be an end, and soon people will forget about the Costantino name.

     Up until now I could only see one choice, and I'm not sure it is a good one.  I have been brain washing my girls since birth that they need to have their husbands take our name upon marriage.  Yes this would insure the survival of the family name into another generation but at what cost?  I do know a guy or two who have taken their wives names - and they are great guys.  They had legitimate reasons for doing so.  But would you really want your daughter marrying a guy who so easily caved in to such a demand as losing his name?  I think not.  No self loving meat head could be happy with himself after such an act, thus making my daughter miserable, which will be punishable by death by their Wacky Father-In-Law.  That doesn't work for me or the dead husband! 
    Maybe it is an ego thing but if my wife had ever asked me to take her name the answer would have been emphatically "No!"  Why is this the case?  A sense of pride in my family is the reason.  I had a great mother and father and, for me to give up that name would have been impossibly hard for me.  But why does a female have to give her name up?  It just doesn't make sense to me.  My girls have as much family pride as any kids I know.  I think that changing their names will be a huge blow to them.  Either man or wife should not be forced to change their name by each other other.
     So you ask, what is the solution?  I have an ingenious way to decide who gets what name, and it is totally fair.  You get a damned quarter and you throw it up in the air - husband's name is heads - wife's name is tails.  What can be more fair than a simple coin toss?  The best part about it is with 3 girls, odds are that one of them will win the toin coss and the Costantino name will be preserved!  Am I a damned genius or what?  I believe that this should be a law!  How many bad feelings would be saved if we just left this decision up to a coin toss?  Future wife says upon the quarter landing heads up "awww shucks, heads - you win" and vice versa.  It's a win-win for everyone including this Wacky Dad who is just desperate to keep his name going into the next generation where hopefully my Wacky grandchildren will protect and defend the family name as well as I intend to!  Semper Fidelis to the Costantino name!


Love, 


Wacky Dad    

The Wacky Dad Response To The State Of The Union

In general I like what the President had to say tonight.  I actually took notes and will comment on what I believe are the most important points he made.

• Working together - The political in fighting between parties has to end.  Success will only be realized if both parties work together.  That includes us as citizens on the ground making shit happen.
• Do we want to send our jobs to China or keep them at home.  If we want jobs here we need to be willing to really compete for them.  Union wages are simply not competitive in todays world.  We need to have the guts to change the way we think about manufacturing jobs and wages to compete in todays competitive market.
• The President mentioned our lack of math and science education.  In a world full of Math and Science why in hell are we not focused on them?  It is unacceptable for us to be so far behind the curve on these subjects.  We need to kick ass and put these subjects where they belong!  Science should be taught in the classroom every day from kindergarten on!
• Of everything the President spoke about I believe that clean energy is the most important piece of the pie as far as the economy goes.  The fact that we are still head locked by the oil producing nations pisses me off.  We can create so many jobs by investing in clean energy! Creating an industry that will free us as a nation, clean up the world, and provide jobs for our kids in the future is something we cannot afford to hand to China!  We need to spend the money on this right now so that we don't get behind the curve...we need to win this one or we are screwed!
• I agree with the President that it is high time we stopped subsidizing the oil industry in any way.  They have record profits every year!  Why in hell are we doing anything to subsidize them!  I believe they should be regulated much the same way we regulate our utilities.  Making record profits at the expense of us trying to heat our homes is bullshit!
• I love the President's quote about kids winning the science fair!  Hell yes!  Science is where our future lies and where our kids focus should be.  Not to mention science is just plain fun!
• Teachers - The President made reference that our teacher need to be nation builders!  It is my opinion that we need to fire every shitty teacher out there and pay wages worthy of such an important position.  In a country where ambulance chasers get paid millions a year, I think it is high time we reward the people who teach our youth with a heft pay hike for improved performance!
• Illegal immigration.  We need to embrace the diversity that we have in this country.  It is going to cost us more to deport illegals than it is to make them citizens and put them to work!  We need to continue our tradition as a nation of immigrants.  Fresh blood brings new ideas, varied work force, and will continue to keep us great!
• The fact that the Chinese have the fastest train in the world pisses me off!  Why the hell does a country who can't even build a goddmaned drill that doesn't burn out after 5 uses build the fastest train in the world while we sit on our asses.  We need to win these "battles".
• Cut the waste in spending accross the board!  Kick ass and take names!  A study should be done on how the Marine Corps can survive on such a limited budget and still be the finest, most prepared fighting force in military history.  Follow their model on spending!
• I like the fact that the President emphasized the fact that we live in the greatest country on earth.  Remind your kids as often as you can about how and why we're great.  It is our duty as citizens of this country to show our kids what it takes to be the best.  We need to show the world that we aren't screwing around anymore and we are here to kick ass and take names as an economic and military power!

Wacky Dad

Wacky Dad On Anti Bullying Policies - Right or Wrong?

    I've been reading and hearing about all of the new anti-bullying policies that are out there in the news.  I am very conflicted on this whole phenomenon.  Back when I was a kid the only anti-bullying policy was to take the big bastard out in the school yard and give him your best.  Generally at the end of the day I would get my brains beat in, but I would get enough licks in to win the respect, and many times the friendship of the bully.  That would keep him away from my friends and sometimes change his perspective about being such a jerk.
    The new bullying policies are basically zero tolerance.  If the bully is up to no good he gets suspended and gets a free vacation at home.  I just don't know what is right here.  I learned a lot from the bully back in the day.  I learned that you always have to stand up for yourself - even if it was going to hurt a hell of a lot.  I also learned that no matter how tough the kid was I would never let my friends get beaten without stepping in to help them as much as I could even if that meant taking a whipping myself.  These experiences create a loyalty and bond between friends that can't be broken, much the same as combat does for Marines and Soldiers.
     Another thing that really bothers me about the whole bully thing is the fact that bullys don't just disappear after you leave high school.  They are everywhere in your life, every day.  How will our kids deal with the bully throughout their lives if they don't learn how to handle them as kids?  We learn most of our values and mores at a young age.  What happens when they get out in the real world and have to deal with the jerks that we all know are out there and who we all deal with every day.  There will not be a school policy or a teacher to hide behind and without the natural toughening that we all underwent as kids how will they react?  Will they know how to stand up for themselves?
     I worry that our country is becoming soft in a time when we need to be tougher than ever to keep our place in the world.  We have always been a country of tough and resourceful people.  I hope that we are not shooting ourselves in the foot by implementing policies that make everything hunky dory all of the time for our kids.  Life ain't hunky dory!  I don't really know the right answer but I would like to start a dialog about the subject of bullying and hear what people have to say about it.


Sincerely,


Wacky Dad  
  


     

MY FAVORITE WACKY ONE LINERS

Growing up in the care of Leo Costantino (my father) was very interesting.  My father has one of the best volumes of one liners that I've ever heard.  Between him, my time in the Marine Corps, and everyone else I have amassed a list of kick ass one liners that I am going to share with you!  Here are 10 of my favorites and their definitions!

1.  "You look like 3 monkeys trying to fu** a football".  This is A Leo Costantino special!  It refers to the act of 3 or more people working at an activity together and generally screwing the whole thing up!


2.  "He can't find his ass with 2 hands!"  I guess this one came from dad too.  It is pretty easy to figure out but it basically defines a total dipshit!


3.  "Do you think I just fell off the pumpkin truck".  I have borrowed this one from my boss.  Over the years I have enjoyed his use of this phrase - at least when it wasn't directed at me!  It basically means "what do you think I'm stupid".


4.  "It is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!"  Leo strikes again!  If you can't figure this one out then don't read my blog anymore, you're slow....

5. "Don't booger the threads!"  This refers to the act of cross threading, or in some way damaging the threads on a bolt.  I believe this one came from my Father's Uncle Pete originally, who was actually the original family meat head.


6.  "I'll bet you she could suck start a Harley"  I am not claiming this one - this is pure Leo!  Use your imagination to figure out what it means!

7.  "I'm so hungry I could eat the a**hole out of an aardvark!"  This derives from a sergeant I served with in the corps who grew up in southern Georgia somewhere.  He was full of beauties!


8.  "Goddamn!  It sounds like a cow pissing on a flat rock!"  This one can be used in several situations - to point out extra loud urination, a particuarly heavy rain event etc..  There is nothing better than a one liner that is multi use - I love it!  I believe this derived from a friend of the family.


9.  "You're slower than molasses going uphill in January!"  Obviously this refers to someone who is slow as crap!  This derives from my old buddy Woody back in my Marine Corps days!  Woody was always in a hurry it seems!


10.  "I'll bet you she was something back before electricity!"  I'm not claiming this and won't tell where it came from.  If he's reading he'll know it!  This refers to a woman who must have been something to see in the day but clearly ain't looking so hot anymore!  Mean but just fun!


Well this is just a small sampling of what is in my little black book of one liners.  Enjoy them and use them wisely.  I wouldn't recommend using the suck start the Harley one on your wife or girlfriend to her face if I were you!


Love,


Wacky Dad