Parenting - Help Your Kid Win!

     Today was a quiet day at the Costantino household.  My older girls were out with mom for recital pictures and Mia hung out with me, that is until Papa came along and picked her up for a Sunday ride.  I used this time to tackle some needed repairs to my lawn equipment that I haven't had a chance to get done this year.  I also repaired a seriously broken down bicycle that my buddy Billy needed fixed for one of his kids.

I realized while working on my broken lawnmower just how much I really enjoy taking something that is not working and fixing it.  You see, when I was a young kid I did not typically play with normal toys.  Instead, I would scour my neighborhood, looking for broken-down lawnmowers left behind in other people's trash, and I would take them all apart and then make them run again.  I didn't do it to eventually cut grass, I did it just to prove to myself that I could fix them.  
I grew up with my hands in grease.  By the time I was five years old, I could pick out socket sizes by sight alone and all through my young life, I worked with my dad on all of our old shit-box cars!  
It never really dawned on me until today just why I loved fixing all of these old junkers.  It was the feeling of success, of "winning", that accompanied the successful repair (and not a Charlie Sheen type 'winning' but a true 'winning, win').  I was able to take a motor that someone had thrown away as trash and "ressurect it from the dead".  In my mind I was winning, and I still win every time I repair one of these little motors.  To this day, I still have never bought a lawnmower or weedwacker.  The ones I own have all been "derelicts" that people have given me.  The rider-tractor I own was bought used for $200, and the snowblower, leaf blower, and hedge trimmer I have were all bought at yard sales for under $20.  Every time I fix one of these babies, I win again.  Not just monetarily, but psychologically too!
    Ok, so are you wondering what this has to do with kids?  Here it is.  No matter what it is, I think it is important to give your kids the gift of winning.  It doesn't matter what they win at, but make sure they win.  When I repaired those lawnmowers as a kid, I wasn't beating anyone in a race or winning a medal or trophy, but I was filled with the knowledge that I could master any broken down motor.  Feeling that kind of success has made a big difference in my life.  If you can win at one thing, then you start to think "why can't I succeed at other things".  I know this seems simple but it is easy to overlook while we are all trying so hard to expose our kids to a multitude of different experiences.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity and life experience.  But once your kids do find something they love, and that they excel at, then help them focus on it.  It can be music, art, academics, sports, or cockroach racing, it doesn't matter.  When they are succeeding, make sure they know they are "winners". 
Pretty soon you will have kids that have great self confidence, and aren't afraid to take on new tasks.  I am definitely not a psychologist - I am just a dumb kid from West Warwick, RI, but I am convinced that this feeling of success is extremely important in helping us grow into happy, healthy, and productive adults.  Something as simple as fixing broken trash can make your kids life more complete, you just need to help them find the right "trash heap"!  Good luck!




Greasy Handed and Happy,


Wacky Dad