Ok everyone. I have heard some crazy shit in my day - but while driving down the highway listening to the radio, I heard something advertised called vaginal rejuvenation! What in hells bells is that? I have purposely kept myself uneducated as to what it is so that maybe some of my readers can enlighten me and bring me up to speed on the latest in vagina remodeling. I just can't fathom what the hell this is all about. Is it like getting a body job on a car? Maybe a new coat of paint, a buff, and wax? Maybe it is like getting a new kitchen in your house or refinishing your hard wood floor.Maybe it is like trading your vagina in for a new model. Well doc I have a Chevy Cobalt right now, but I was looking for something a little sportier - maybe a Porsche or a Ferrari. Or perhaps you have the minivan with a huge hatchback and lots of space and you want to "downsize" to a more "compact" model. Am I on the right track? Trade in the school bus for a Mercedes? Ok enough car metaphors. I am ready to be enlightened. I know one of my readers can do some research on this for me - or if I'm really lucky maybe one of you has first hand information and actually has a rejuvenated vagina! Let me know!
By the way, just so everyone knows, I believe that any country that openly advertises vaginal rejuvenations has to be going to hell in a hand basket! God help us all!
Perplexed and Scared,
Wacky Dad
Okay, fine.. I swore I wasn't going to answer this for you because I was afraid I would use language you didn't expect from me... Try to imagine if you will, a nice, brand new tube sock. Your foot slides in, the sock molds itself gently, but firmly around your foot. Now imagine, you wore the holy hell out of that sock.. on off on off in out in out.. okay.. you get the picture. Well, after all that USAGE, the damn sock just doesn't fit the way it used to.
ReplyDelete(please tell me you are getting the picture here...)
Now, you take that ol' sock into the shop and have it ummmm... REJUVENATED... a process that magically restores it to it pre-usage fit and feel. Get it??????
hmmmm. I though it might be something along those lines. I need to know the cost! What a country we live in! Thanks for having the guts to answer! What does everyone else think about this phenomenon??
ReplyDeleteThe sock analogy just doesn't work. I mean my foot is as rigid as it ever was and it's for sure that I like my socks to fit well.
ReplyDeleteBut what the hell are you going to do with a limp member and a rejuvenated vagina? Seems that something a little more accommodating would work better.
Then again, if your vagina needs rejuvenating and you're looking for a dick that's hard and as long as a foot, then maybe that makes more sense.
okay - It is official...there really is nothing off "the table" with you...
ReplyDeleteAnd just an FYI my dear husband...try squeezing 3 small nerf footballs (aka small human beings in the female world) out of your assh*&e and see if that ass of yours still has the same spring and bounce that it used to (good enough analogy!). But Alas you MEN w...ill NEVER EVER understand!
I wasn't complaining my dear wife. Simply wondering what vaginal rejuvenation was. Now that I know, I wonder why in God's name anyone would ever subject themselves to it!
ReplyDeleteright, I almost mentioned on facebook- I see now that I am too late, that you should make it very clear how much you DON'T need such a thing in your own house. and how you pity the poor suckers that do!
ReplyDeletewasn't sure what it was, but i'm glad there were comments to learn from. I was hoping it's was a buff and wax deal so i could ask hubby for one, but now i'm not even gonna mention it. after 4 kids who knows what he'll say. too funny
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely a bit more than a buff and wax! More like a major tune up!
ReplyDeleteMeg I have to be careful with this post!
ReplyDeleteIt's where they take out a little piece of the "taint".
ReplyDeleteShe has gotten a brand new lease on a old raggedy vajayjay lol
ReplyDelete